MicroblogMondays: Meeting Cousin’s Baby

Microblog_Mondays

It’s Chinese New Year.  The tradition is to go visit with relatives in their home during this time.  My mom was going to visit my aunt and spend time with my cousins, their wives, and my cousin’s baby.  I wrote about my cousin and his wife who got pregnant and gave birth not even a year into their marriage.  I was feeling bitter at times and did not want to see them or meet the baby after he was born.  I sometimes do see pictures of the baby and he is becoming cuter and cuter.  When my mom told me that she was going to get together with my aunt, I gave her a red envelope to give to the baby.  This is a tradition during Chinese New Year for married relatives to give single relatives, especially children, a monetary gift placed in a red envelope for good fortune.  When my mom came home from the visit, she said that my cousin who just dropped her off wanted to come in and say thank you for our red envelope for the baby.  Bob and I greeted him and he asked if we wanted to meet the baby.  Instead of feeling reluctant, I found myself wanting to meet that baby.  Bob and I went to my cousin’s car and saw a baby with chubby cheeks sleeping peacefully in his car seat.  My cousin’s wife and I chatted a little bit about this five month old baby who is already 18 pounds.  I touched his cheeks and his hand.  It dawned on me that I no longer feel jealous of my cousin and his wife, and I don’t feel bitter or the need to hide from them and the baby anymore.  This realization is so freeing.  My cousin said that he had arranged for his family to have dinner with my brother’s family in March.  He invited us along with my mom and his mom.  I told him that we’d be there.  I think having dinner and spending time with them all will be a true test of my true feelings about my cousin and his fertile wife.  Bob asked, “Will you want to hold the baby?”  Without much hesitation, I said, “Sure!”  I think this is a big step forward.

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12 thoughts on “MicroblogMondays: Meeting Cousin’s Baby

  1. I remember my moment just like this! It took us 6 months before we met our friends baby – they knew why we hadn’t and they were wonderfully supportive. The first time I met him, I couldn’t hold him. But the second time I was able to and I just love that kid. I think the support and understanding of his parents through everything has made the spot in my heart for him extra special. 🙂

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  2. I am glad you feel so much more free – I think in this journey, finding peace at the end of the road, for me, has always been the most important thing. However things turn out, if at least I can be at peace with the outcome, I think I could cope ok. Separately, I’ve actually never had any issue being around babies during this process – holding them, babysitting, etc. What’s REALLY bothered me are pregnant women, from the announcements, to the showers, to the constant attention cast on their pregnancies and the pregnancies being the only topic of conversation…this is what I could not handle.

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    • For me, it really depends on the person. And sometimes it has no logic to it. I couldn’t face one of my good friends during her pregnancy during the first and second trimesters. I was totally fine with her at the last trimester. There are some people I couldn’t bear being with during pregnancy, and I still won’t hold their babies even when they are almost a year old. And there are those others and I don’t mind hanging out with the whole time during their pregnancy and I love holding their babies. So no rhymes or reasons.

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  3. Happy New Year! Incidentally, I and Mr. MLACS were born in the year of the sheep (as were many of our friends and classmates). I don’t think being born under the sheep is unfortunate! But I read that many couples in China wish to avoid having babies in the year of the sheep, because it is considered unlucky.
    Obviously our baby will be born as a sheep. And I heavily anticipate that you will welcome a sheep baby. How do you feel about having a sheep baby?
    XOXO

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    • Happy new year to you too! You and Mr. MLACS are young people. 😉 Yeah I heard about Chinese people not wanting a baby born in this year. I do not care one way or another. Give me a baby and I will run without looking back! I will take a baby any time. I am not picky. 😀

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  4. So glad you could enjoy meeting that little cutie! I was never particularly challenged in this area as almost none of my relatives and close friends have babies. I went the avoidance route for any others I encountered and found it fairly easy to do so. But I think it is much better in the long run to maintain relationships families, so I admire that you are able to do so. You have such generosity of spirit.

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  5. I never had much of a problem with babies. normally it’s the parents that bug me but even then when they are smart ones they are ok. I’m glad you felt good looking at the baby! xx

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