MicroblogMondays: Settling In

I realize that I still need to write our birth story, but I just don’t have the time or the energy to start one right now.  Let’s just say that everything went according to plan.  The whole process was as smooth as possible minus some minor issues such as Okra’s O2 level fluctuating a couple of minutes after birth so I was concerned.  Eventually his breathing stabilized and didn’t need to utilize the NICU, but it was enough to make me worry for the first hour after the birth.

Home life with the twins has been great especially with my parents’ help.  Honestly, life would be so much harder if my parents weren’t here.  Bob has been home on his parental leave so we take care of the twins together in the middle of the night.  My mom comes to our room at around 6:45am to 7am so we can take a nap for a few hours while she takes care of the babies.  She has become a pro in changing their diapers and feeding them.  My dad arrived from overseas the day after we came home.  Because he drives (and my mom doesn’t), he helps with running errands, buying takeouts, and doing grocery shopping when needed.  We are so indebted to their help.

How about the babies?  Every time I see their faces, my heart melts.  They are absolutely beautiful. Each baby has already developed their personalities.  Bunny is very eager when she eats and gulps down her food like there is no tomorrow.  She often times has the hiccups after a meal and spits up some just because she eats too fast.  She also doesn’t like restraints.  When she wears the sleep sack, I let her arms out because she complains and fusses when her arms are wrapped inside.  She is also the better sleeper.  She has been eating the same amount of formula and sleeping about 3 hours stretches for a few days now.  Bunny makes all sorts of sounds and has many many different facial expressions.  It’s such a joy to just watch her face while she is lying on my lap and see all of her little movements.  She especially likes to put her hands by her cheeks.  It often looks like she is on the phone with someone.  She has these very cute dimples.  She looks a lot like Bob and seems a lot more Indian than Chinese.

Okra is my little Chinese dude.  He looks a mixture of Indian and Chinese.  The first few days of his life we called him Buddha because of how calm he was compared to Bunny.  But he has already changed. When he is hungry, he screams bloody murder within a few seconds and won’t let up until a nipple is on his lips.  When he eats, he paces himself well and does not leak like his sister does. Unlike his sister who flings her arms out whatever chance she has, he likes to be swaddled and probably doesn’t feel a sense of security if he doesn’t have any sleep sack on him.  He’s a pretty good napper but has more of a difficult time at night.  He often eats a little bit and then falls asleep.  He will then wake up in a little while screaming because he is hungry again.  He has been waking up a lot in the middle of the night so this mama has been having a fun time (!) consoling him.

We are proud owners of a mini-van.  We were going to take our time in purchasing one.  The first ride in our Subaru Forester with the babies changed Bob’s mind.  Due to the car seats’ size and position, he couldn’t drive his car and could barely sit in the passenger seat.  The same day we came home, he wrote our friend who is a broker for new and used cars and ordered our first new car together.  Now Bob has room to stretch his legs in our new ride.

Our first doctor’s visit went very well.  They are both very healthy.  Our OB who did the C-section and our pediatrician both mentioned these twins and the twin pregnancy had been the healthiest they had seen in a while.  Bunny was catching up nicely with her birth weight, and Okra was already almost there at his birth weight at that doctor’s visit last Tuesday.  The babies eat well, poop well, and sleep quite well.  We are truly blessed to have these healthy babies and Annie who carried them to term.

It’s been hard for Annie.  With her hormonal fluctuations, she has been feeling all the feelings and missing the babies.  Her incision is healing well but still hurts.  All in all, she is doing well but it may take her some time to get used to not being pregnant anymore.

At times it still feels very surreal that we have babies at home despite them being 10 days old already.  This whole fertility journey was so long that finally getting here feels very foreign to me.  The babies do remind me of our donor, especially Bunny.  She has extremely long legs and is very good at kicking especially during diaper change as she absolutely hates it.  Our donor was a soccer player and a soccer coach.  BUT, this reminder doesn’t diminish my love for my own daughter and son.  They are mine (and ours) and no one can change that.  Our newborn photo shoot the other day was also a reminder that yes, the babies are here to stay.  The preview photo of the shoot takes my breath away.  I look at the photo of the four of us and realize how blessed I am to be able to have my take home babies.  It makes all the sleepless nights all worth it.

I will update when I have more time. 

MicroblogMondays: Going Home Today

Bunny and Okra were discharged from the hospital yesterday.  We spent a night in the hotel all by ourselves.  All I can say is that we are utterly in love with our babies, and are so so sleep deprived already. Haha.  We are leaving town to fly home today.  Hopefully all the supplies we have are enough for the short two-hour flight and the babies are going to cooperate.  I can’t wait to begin home life with them.  I know some of you have asked about pictures of the twins.  I am still debating whether or not to show their faces.  In the mean time, while I am deciding, enjoy the far-away view of them:

I still can’t believe how blessed we are that we get to take our babies home.

Will write more when I have some more sleep.  🙂

They Are Here!!!

Baby A and Baby B are here to join our family!

Bunny, our Baby A, is the girl, and was born at 8:21am on Friday September 15, 2017.  She was 6 lbs 9 oz and 19 1/4 inches.

Okra, our Baby B, is the boy, and was born at 8:23am.  He was 6 lbs and 20 inches.

They are perfect in every way.  We are so so so so in love!

They are more beautiful than I ever imagined.

We are a family of four.

Annie is a rockstar.  She is doing well recovering.  She spent some quality time with the twins today.

My heart is so full.

Happy birthday babies!

Now we learn to be parents.

I will write more when there is time.

MicroblogMondays: Almost There

I can’t believe we are still at home.  The babies are holding on tight.  Today we will have our last nonstress test.  If they are still staying put, Annie will have blood test done at the hospital on Wednesday.  Our scheduled C-section is going to be bright and early on Friday.  It’s crazy to know that whether or not we are ready, the babies will come on Friday at the latest.  It still feels very surreal even though our house is looking more and more ready for the babies to come home to.

We got our maternity photos back.  I printed out three of them and hung them on the wall next to the window.  One of them is very sweet: Annie and I were sitting down with my hand on her belly and both of us looking at her belly.  These pictures look great on the wall.  And then last night, Bob and I spent a long time doing this:

The lighting is a bit off because the pictures were taken at night.  In the morning you should be able to see that the walls are beige/yellow and the wall decals are gray and yellow.  We are very pleased with how it turns out.  We had to literally stick each piece on one at a time.  It really took patience, and it pays off big time.  I love how this looks in our nursery.

We were supposed to also put this bible verse right above the dresser/changing pad, but I was too tired after applying the elephant and the giraffe, so it will have to wait.

Annie has also been doing some work.  She put together two baskets; one for the OB’s office and the other one for the hospital nurses.  Inside the baskets there are homemade caramel corn, Baby Ruth, double mint gum, Sour Patch Kids, and Hershey’s kisses.  She also included a card with a picture we took at our professional photo shoot.  I thought that was very thoughtful of her.  And it tells you how good she has been feeling, that she has the energy to do all of that.

I have been calling this past weekend a bonus weekend since I really didn’t think that we’d have it all to ourselves.  It was quite heavenly.  I did a Tar.get run and bought a bunch of essentials.  We enjoyed lunch and dinner at two of our favorite restaurants.  We even took a nap on Sunday just because we could.  The babies are allowing us to enjoy some down time before the craziness begins!

If all goes according to plan, Bob and my mom and I are going to fly out on Wednesday.  We will spend some time with Annie and her family on Thursday.  T-4 days!  We can’t wait to see our babies face-to-face.

MicroblogMondays: Feeling Silenced

My guy best friend is currently in town from out of state. Whenever he’s around, we always get together.  This time he came one week before his wife did so he could visit his parents with his 7-year-old daughter.  When we were making plans for dinner, my friend alerted me that I’d have to be prepared to explain to his little girl why I had babies coming without having a big belly.  Apparently he hadn’t told her our news yet.  I said I’d be ready to explain. And then he told me that he hadn’t had the talk with little girl about human reproduction yet.  When she asked questions about how babies came about, he told her to ask her teachers.  I guess he was uncomfortable talking about it and really didn’t want to do it at this point.  I told him that 7-year-old is not too early to learn about where babies come from.  He said he’d think about how to talk to her.

Fast forward a week later.  In the afternoon right before our dinner date, my friend called to finalize the details.  Then he asked, “Is it okay if we don’t talk about the babies tonight?”  Honestly I was taken aback by this request.  He went on to explain that he still hadn’t told his daughter about our situation, and he still didn’t know how to explain human sexuality to her.  So he thought that it would be better for us to simply not to talk about our pregnancy or anything that had to do with our preparation.

I don’t know.  I was sitting there with my phone in my hand feeling a little disappointed and sad.  I know that he wasn’t ashamed of our situation.  I know that he does want to celebrate our babies with us.  I know that it was solely his problem of having a hard time with this talk with his daughter.  It is simply his choice of parenting and it is a decision that has nothing to do with me.  But why did I feel that I was less than those who could achieve a pregnancy and proudly present their bumps?  Why did I still experience sadness and disappointment that my best friend could not rise above this situation and use this opportunity to educate his young child about unique ways of building a family?  If I were pregnant with a big bump, this wouldn’t have been an issue for him because then he wouldn’t have to explain how our embryos got transferred into the surrogate.  I know that I am not less than others who physically carry and give birth to their children, but my heart still ached that I could not just proudly talk about our excitement and our future.

Dinner was weird.  Bob and I sat there and talked about everything but our babies and surrogate.  Our life recently has been so engrossed by the preparation for the upcoming birth of our babies that I felt choked by this enforced avoidance of the topic.  It felt so unnatural and tiring to have to consciously watch our words.  When I handed my friend a thank you card for his gift, his little girl asked what it was.  Bob was so smart that he quickly changed the topic to distract the little girl.  And my friend finally asked how we were doing with everything, but it was done in our native language so his daughter couldn’t understand it.

It just made me sad that our joy and pride had become so hush-hush that night.

When we said our good-byes in front of the restaurant, I asked my friend how he was going to explain the sudden appearance of two babies in our life.  He said he’d wait to see if school would teach about human sexuality and go from there.  I know that his choice does not mean that he isn’t happy for us, but it just left a bad taste in my mouth for a few days because we could not openly celebrate this newest chapter of our lives with one of my best friends.