This was the number I had been waiting for all day!
Today was our big retrieval day. We got up super early for the 8am semen collection time. I slept quite well last night, but this thought kept coming back to my mind: what if our donor decided not to show up for retrieval? I guess once the trust is gone for something, it is harder for me to trust her to hold up her part of the bargain, although she had been showing up for every single monitoring appointment. But you know, my mind was doing tricks and it wasn’t a lot of fun to have that anxious feeling. This is exactly what my dear friend Elisha was talking about, the enemy trying to distract us from Jesus and steal the joy from us. When I woke up in the middle of the night, I prayed on and off for God to give us peace and take away that doubt and fear.
We were happy and excited on our ride to the clinic. I was the chauffeur so Bob could relax in the car as he had a very important job to do. Upon arrival, the lady who checked Bob in had a quizzical look on her face when she was trying to locate his appointment in the system. I should clarify that Dr. E is an independent reproductive endocrinologist who has privilege at different local clinics for procedures and the lab. This clinic is the main one that Dr. E uses. So it is quite possible that Bob’s name wasn’t in the system because we weren’t seeing one of the doctors there. The lady turned to me and asked for my name, which she also couldn’t find because I wasn’t the “patient’ per se for the procedure today. She finally checked him in and asked him to go to the andrology lab.
The lady at the andrology lab window also seemed to look very confused as she shuffled the lists of names to locate Bob’s. I had this sinking feeling as I watched her. Did they not know that he was coming and that his sperm was to be used with our donor’s eggs? I took at peek a the lab order and saw that the collection time was supposed to be 9:30am. Why in the world were we asked to arrive at 8? After some confusion, it was finally declared that everything was fine and Bob headed down to his little room to do his business.
Feeling uneasy about the little drama, I called up Dr. E’s office to speak with the nurse. She reassured me that the clinic knew what they were doing but told me that she’d get on it to clarify everything with the clinic on the phone if need be. A few minutes later, Dr. E’s nurse called me back and said that everything was fine. Apparently we were supposed to arrive at 9:30am so the lab was a little confused about our arrival time. But Dr. E’s email clearly said 8am. I guess it didn’t matter as long as the semen was collected and it wasn’t too early for that.
But this little drama kind of threw me off. What if they couldn’t match the sperm with the eggs. Then I was reminded to trust God’s plan. If this is going to happen, it is going to happen. So I took a deep breath and settled in with my book. Bob came out in a little while. He often had a look on his face after his semen collection. I asked him what was up. He said he often wonders if he had produced enough sp.erm since the quantity of the semen didn’t look like a lot. I told him I wouldn’t worry about it because he has been performing every single time. I don’t see how this time would be any different.
I waited in waiting room when Bob was in the bathroom. Dr. E came into the clinic and saw me. She gave me a hug and said that everything was going to be great. Then she pulled me to the side and said, “Your donor is due for her check in right now, so you may want to hide somewhere.” Oh okay. I grabbed Bob who just came out of the bathroom and we quickly exited to the parking lot. I wouldn’t want to accidentally bump into our donor like this.
I don’t know why. Maybe because of the little drama, I was still feeling a little anxious about the possibility of the donor not showing up, which does not make sense at all. If she wanted to be compensated, she’d show up. She had already gone this far. And it wouldn’t be fun to have all these enlarged follicles inside one’s ovaries. So I vacillated between feeling calm and a little anxious. I was thinking, if our donor didn’t show up for retrieval, Dr. E would have notified us in the morning. The fact that there was no phone call or update was a good thing.
My friends were asking if I wanted to write Dr. E for an update. I guess I wanted to just hide in the sand. I was still treating no update as a good sign. Dr. E’s email came at 3:17pm. She had “28!!!” in her subject line, and said that “Retrieval went beautifully. Just wanted to let you know. Next update is tomorrow!” I immediately praised the Lord for answering our prayers! Bob sounded happy but also cautious as we don’t know how many of these 28 eggs are mature and fertilized. I think he is still wondering if his boys performed. But I am grinning from ear to ear! This is such fantastic news and today couldn’t have gone any better.
You know what got me through today? My happy thought of the day, which is “today is the first day of my future child(ren)’s existence”. I truly believe that one or two of these eggs will help make our child(ren). Although our donor had made a mistake and breached our trust and contract, I am still feeling super thankful for her, her willingness to donate, and her super high-performing ovaries.
May this news be the first of many happy moments before we finally meet our baby face to face.
Praise the Lord!