MicroblogMondays: While We Wait

Hey not bad!  It’s been already seven days since our transfer a week ago.  We have exactly one more week to go.  While we wait, these things are happening:

• The day after my transfer, I felt like I was carrying the biggest secret around at work.  And ever since that day, since I can’t see inside my uterus, it feels very surreal that a transfer actually took place.  It’s like life as usual.  Did a transfer really happen?  Do I really have five embryos inside me?
• That said, everyday I talk to my embryos.  I tell them to grow and be strong.  And I want one or two of them to be the winners and attach to the lining.  I keep my feet warm every single day so that the rest of my body will be warm.  At my acupuncture appointment, I was told that my pulse was strong and slippery.  I take that as a good sign.
• Everyday I feel like I am having a white period.  This is the fun thing about using Endo.metrin.  Panty liners are not enough to contain the amount of fluids that leaks out.  I have to wear a pad.  Fun times.
• My husband is very sweet.  He comes home everyday and asks, “Are you feeling anything?”  I think it’s tough for guys because they are not the ones who receive the embryos and they rely on us to tell them how we’re feeling.  He puts his hand on my tummy and tells the embryos to stay put.
• So am I feeling anything?  Of course not.  But there have been a few days when I was tired beyond belief.  Saturday was six days past two day transfer (6dp2dt).  I did wake up before 6am.  I can usually last for quite some time before I get tired.  But definitely not on that day.  Bob and I traveled to downtown for my dental appointment.  I was so tired that I had to rest my head on his shoulder on the train. That was 1:30pm.  Right in the middle of the day.  While waiting at my dentist’s, I leaned my head against the wall.  I was that tired.  I am quite sure that my body is reacting to the progesterone.  But of course I secretly hope that it’s a pregnancy symptom.
• By the way, I asked for x-ray not to be done at my dental appointment because of those embryos inside me.  I hope that this is going to be proven to be a legitimate thing to request rather than wishful thinking.  Otherwise, I’ll feel like a fraud.
• I also feel some tugging in my abdominal area.  When that happens, I can’t help but think that maybe something is happening there because it is around implantation time.  Or maybe the progesterone is fooling me.
• I think my friends are more nervous than I am.  Many of them are counting down the days for me.  I am grateful that I am so loved.  And many of them are praying for us daily.
• It’s been fun to show the pictures of our embryos to people.  Some friends have not experienced (or will never experience) infertility.  One of them pointed at my 8-cell embryo asking if a few babies will come out of that embryo.  She thought that each cell is a possibility of a baby.  This is a woman who herself has two children.  It just boggles my mind that some people really have no clue how their children were made.
• Oh and the question of POAS or not to POAS.  My first beta day is March 16th, which is 14 days after transfer.  That will be 16 days past ovulation.  It’s a very long time to wait for beta.  And it happens to be Monday, a very busy day for me.  I asked my nurse if it’s possible to move the beta sooner to March 13th, which is a Friday.  I was just thinking that maybe it’s better to find out on a Friday so we could either celebrate overcoming the first hurdle or I’ll have a whole weekend to wallow in my own sorrow.  My nurse said that they can’t possibly let me move it any earlier.  So March 16th it is.  Then I wonder if I should really POAS on Saturday or Sunday so we can be mentally prepared for the blood test result on Monday.  I don’t have any pee sticks at home.  I think I’ll only test on FRER.  So I think I will order some from Ama.zon and be prepared if I really feel like testing before beta.  Even though the thought of it makes  me a little nervous……
• In general I am feeling hopeful.  There is no reason to believe that it won’t work until we test, either at home or at the lab.  I have been quite calm.  And I want to remain this way.  However, I know that in a few days I may feel more and more anxious.  And that’s okay.  I just have to look to God and let Him take care of things.

How good are you at waiting???