MicroblogMondays: Two Surprises, Two Different Outcomes

Since we’ve been so open about our journey, I have friends or friends of friends come to me just to talk about their own infertility or to seek solidarity/guidance/opinions.  My former supervisor is one of them.  And then my friend’s friend is the other.  My former supervisor has been experiencing secondary infertility and had an early miscarriage.  Her FSH and AMH indicate low egg reserve.  My friend’s friend is young (in her early 30s) and has had a few miscarriages and a diagnosis of adenomyosis (just like me).  Due to her extremely thin lining, her primary RE and second opinions all recommended her to use a gestational carrier.  I referred both of them to Dr. E, my RE who helped bring Bunny and Okra into the world.  Coincidentally, both of these ladies were scheduled for an appointment with my RE in the same week, my former supervisor for herself, and my friend’s friend for an initial appointment to use a gestational carrier.  I sent my former supervisor a text the evening of the appointment to see how it went.  Little did I know that she actually didn’t need to go to the appointment because the week prior to that she discovered that she was pregnant!  I was so surprised and happy for her!  If she doesn’t have to go through what I had to go through, I am all for it.  She was early at that point, about 5 weeks.  I wrote Dr. E and told her how excited I was for my former supervisor, and she said, well, “There is someone else with news too but I will let them tell you.  You bring good luck to all around you.  Lucky fertility charm.”  I immediately thought of my friend’s friend and asked for an update from her.  She sent me a great update: she found out four days after her appointment with Dr. E that she was pregnant!  At the appointment, Dr. E looked at her uterus and said, “This doesn’t look like a uterus that couldn’t sustain a pregnancy to me.”  Her lining was thicker than she had seen in three years.  It had always been 3 to 4mm, and this time it was 6 to 7 mm. Dr. E had her on progesterone and blood thinner to help with the pregnancy.  I was even more surprised at this news but I was so very excited and happy for both of these ladies.  I told both of them to take it one day at a time when they felt terrified and tell themselves the mantra “I am pregnant today, and that’s all that matters”.  Because, really, there is nothing you can do but to wait to see how things turn out, right?  Well, my former supervisor chose to do a 9 week ultrasound with her regular OB and they couldn’t find a heartbeat.  They couldn’t even find the pregnancy itself although she still had symptoms that morning.  It was a missed miscarriage.  I didn’t feel like a fertility lucky charm at all and was so heartbroken for her.  She had since then gone to see Dr. E and is now facing the reality of choosing her next move among different options.  As for my other friend?  She has cruised past her first trimester (with a fibroid in her uterus that seems to have stopped growing with the pregnancy) and is now in her second trimester.  She is still terrified but this pregnancy has moved past the point of her last two miscarriages.  Even though one lady’s pregnancy didn’t sustain, I hope that the other lady will be able to have a healthy pregnancy and carry to term.  I am hopeful that although my former supervisor had her recent heartache, Dr. E will be able to help her fulfill her dream of completing her family.  And if she needs it, I am always here to lend an ear.