One Follicle Wonder?

This is the latest: we are moving forward with the cycle.

Bob and I had a few discussions about the next steps.  I had been a little confused about what to do following our RE’s question to us: To proceed or to cancel.  Frankly I never thought that we would cancel because of having just one follicle.  I knew that there was a high possibility of having only one follicle and I was okay with that.  Bob actually wanted to be a little conservative and was leaning towards waiting because we can always wait for next month.  To me, to move forward is trusting the Lord.  To him, waiting with patience is also trusting the Lord.  After that talk, we continued praying for wisdom.  We decided to ask my RE and follow his recommendation.  We would proceed if he recommends proceeding.  We would cancel if he thinks that waiting for the next cycle is better.  We agreed to leave the decision to the doctor.

Dr. No Nonsense called me after my CD 10 scan, which yielded the following results: 14mm on the right and 9mm, 7mm, and 6mm on the left.  I really appreciate him calling me personally both days because it is a lot easier to talk to the doctor himself than to wait for the answer through a nurse.  I was frank with him.  I told him that I would’ve never thought of canceling the cycle had he not asked me that question.  After that question I was confused about the decision.  His idea is that the previous cycle that yielded four mature eggs was exceptional, that we should not expect each cycle to go as well.  As he has always said, each cycle with minimal stimulation, we expect zero embryo, one embryo, or two embryos.  Having one egg is well within our expectation.  I told him that Bob and I decided to do what he tells us to do.  The doctor and I discussed what our goal is.  If we still want to try with my own eggs and grab every chance that we have, then he would recommend proceeding with the cycle.  I was to use 150IU of Meno.pur and use one Ganirelix that night to see if we could boost the 9mm.  I was relieved when Bob reacted to my news with enthusiasm.  He said that God answered our prayers and allowed us to make a decision through the doctor.  We both feel at peace with the decision.

My Mayan abdominal massage session and the two Meno.pur vials didn’t really help with the growth for the smaller follicles.  Today’s CD 11 scan showed that the big one has grown to 17mm.  It must have really loved the drugs as its size jumped 3mm.  The smaller ones are still small: 10mm, 8mm, and 6mm.  Looks like we’re really going to work with one follicle.  The nurse’s phone call at the end of the day only instructed me to return tomorrow for another scan.  Nothing was mentioned about more Meno.pur and Ganirelix.  I was confused and demanded an explanation.

I am really thankful for this clinic.  Although I see many different people and talk to many different people each cycle, I feel that they all know what they are doing and what they are talking about.  Even when I couldn’t talk to the doctor (he himself told me yesterday that he would be on a plane and wouldn’t be able to call me), the nurses still gave me a satisfactory answer.  Basically Dr. No Nonsense does not feel that the extra Meno.pur will help with the growth so there is no need to add more tonight.  It doesn’t seem like I’d ovulate on my own any time soon so there is no need for the Ganirelix.  This is the least amount of injections I have done since the first IVF cycle.

We are returning for yet another scan tomorrow.  If the 17mm grows to 18 or 19mm, I am sure that I will be instructed to trigger tomorrow night and retrieval should be on Sunday.  At least it’s not on Saturday this time like how I’ve been praying.

I was feeling a little emotionally fragile today.  There is a blogger who had her retrieval on the same day as our first egg retrieval in July of 2013.  She got pregnant and we didn’t.  Her news does not always act as a trigger for me and I’ve enjoyed reading her blog posts.  However, today learning that her daughter is already six months old made it a little bit harder to not feel a little sorry for myself.  Luckily I remember what my therapist taught me about negative emotions: Name it, own it, and move on.  I let myself feel the way I was feeling.  Then I decided to focus my energy on something else.  The negative emotions went away after a while.

This journey is so hard sometimes.  I really have to learn to trust the process, trust the doctor, and trust the Lord for His plans.  Not easy but I am trying.  I’d imagine that next time I write it’ll be after the retrieval.  Hoping for one very good egg.  And we’ll celebrate ahead of time by having sushi tomorrow to also celebrate getting engaged on 10/10/10 four years ago.