MicroblogMondays: Half Way Point

Today, we are at 19 weeks 5 days of our pregnancy.  Since our OB won’t let Annie go past 38 weeks (C-section scheduled for 38 weeks 2 days), we are over our half way point.

A question I get asked a lot: “Have you bought anything yet?” meaning to prepare for the babies’ arrival.  The answer is, No.

I will be flying over to attend the anatomy scan on Thursday.  Bob has a new job which doesn’t allow him to be off any time during the month of May.  Fortunately he got to witness the mini-anatomy scan at the last ultrasound, so hopefully he isn’t going to miss a whole lot.

I don’t know why, but I have a difficult time letting myself buy anything before the 20-week scan.  In fact, planning anything related to the babies has been hard for me.  Maybe a part of me still doesn’t believe that the babies are coming.  Maybe that part of me thinks that if I prepare for anything, I’d be more devastated if things don’t work out in the end.  But whether or not I am in denial, the babies are growing and in less than 19 weeks, we’ll get to see them face-to-face.

It freaks me out at times that maybe I don’t have time to get ready for them.  Four months will pass very quickly and I will be responsible for these lives.  What if I am not ready by then?  My to-do list in my head was growing longer and longer so I eventually typed it up on my Google tasks.  I want to do window treatment for the whole house especially for the babies’ room.  We need to move all the junk out of our second bedroom so we can set up the nursery.  We need to start looking into a new car.  My sister-in-law asked me about the baby shower so I have to give her a date.  With the baby shower date comes the need to start a baby registry.  And how does one begin to have a baby registry for twins?  And what about classes to learn about how to take care of babies especially twins?  In person classes or online classes?  We also have to decide on how to bring the babies home.  Road trip that will take a few days assuming that we’ll have to stop every two hours?  Or a two-hour plane ride with newborns?  I need to book a photographer soon if I want to do a maternity photo shoot.  And what about birth photography?  Do we do both or just one?  When do we do the maternity shoot and how to do it?  Do we fly home and do newborn photos back home or do we do it there?  We’ll make an announcement on Fac.ebook and I will also announce at work.  Is it going to be scary to let everyone around us know?  Where do I find a person to cover for me for my maternity leave?  Someone who speaks my native language so he/she can see all of my clients?  And how do I tell the parents of my existing clients about surrogacy and maternity leave?  Do we have to find a pediatrician soon?

So many things.  My head spins.

I know not to get ahead of myself, but sometimes my mind just goes and it doesn’t stop.  So I need to focus on one to two things at a time.  So window treatment and photographer it is.  But even with just two things, I feel overwhelmed contacting people while working a full-time job.

The one positive spin of not carrying the babies is that I have all the energy in the world to get ready for them since I don’t have to fight back pain, pelvic pressure, or frequent bathroom visits.   It is still overwhelming but I know I can get all the things done.  I guess I need lots of deep breaths and yoga to get everything done the next few months.  If pregnant women can do it, I can too.

(By the way, my previous post was my 400th post.  It took almost four years to write this many posts but I’m very glad I continue to blog.  I wonder what will happen after the twins are born.  I hope I will still have the time and the drive to blog.)

MicroblogMondays: So Loved

Microblog_Mondays

The pregnancy has been going well as Annie has had symptoms on and off, although it has not been without scares.  I had been kind of holding my breath in case of any spotting, and had been feeling fortunate that Annie had not experienced any.  So I panicked a little bit when she messaged me about a spotting episode a few days ago.  She felt her abdominal area tightening with constant tension, and she spotted with pinkish/brownish discharge.  She contacted Dr. E, my RE, who said that it was probably no worries as it might have been stretching of the uterus.  As a precaution, she asked Annie to be on an extra dose of progesterone.  I emailed Dr. E just to make sure that it was really okay, to which she said that it was from twins, and is very common.  Later today Annie will attend our 8 weeks 5 days ultrasound and I will be video conferencing with her at the appointment.  We hope to see some growing and thriving babies.  It is at times scary to think about anything bad happening to these babies but I have been telling Bob that we have to put our complete trust in the Lord that He is protecting the babies and Annie.

*****

Today, I actually want to write about how loved I have felt from my friends.  I have received quite a few gifts in the past two weeks and most of them were surprises.  The first one was from my dear friend Jane.  She sent us a package a couple of days after our first ultrasound.  In it was a card congratulating us as parents-to-be, and completed with one t-shirt for Annie, two onesies for the twins, and two t-shirts for both me and Bob.  The t-shirt for Annie says “Their Bun, My Oven” with a picture of an oven and a bun below it.  Below the picture it says “Proud Surrogate”.  The onesies say “Worth The Wait”.

 The two t-shirts for us both have the shape of Annie’s state the the words that say “Expecting…. In [Annie’s State]!” (I am not posting Annie’s state because I want to keep it private to protect her identity.)  In the package there were also blue and pink lollipops that say “Team Blue” and “Team Pink”.  This gift was so thoughtful and came so soon after the ultrasound scan that it brought me to tears.  More importantly, it shows the positivity that my friend has in this pregnancy and it touches my heart.

Fast forward a week. I was sick at home and the door bell rang.  It was our mail lady who delivered a tiny package to my door.  I was curious to see what I got since I wasn’t expecting a package.  Inside was a necklace with a pendant that is the shape of Annie’s state and a heart that was stamped on the position where Annie’s town is in that state.  It was from my other very thoughtful friend Maddie who wrote this: “I thought you might like this since your heart will be in [Annie’s state] for the next 8 months”.  This gift is so meaningful and sweet that it made me cry.  I don’t know what I have done to deserve such love but I am just so grateful to have these friends who shower me with their love and share my joy of having these babies growing inside Annie.

One day I was just wondering aloud to Bob if anyone would go with us to attend the birth and bring the babies home.  It would be far away for someone to ride with us or to fly over there.  Literally the next day, my friend Jo asked if she could come to photo-document the birth and to help out with the twins.  I was so touched by her offer!  Only a true friend would make this grand gesture without us even asking!  She also gave us a bunch of gifts such as new outfits and onesies and a few boxes of boy/girl baby clothes, items, books, toys, and maternity clothes for Annie.  These were quality items of her kids that she had set aside for us.  I am just so touched to have friends that are like family, and Jo (and her husband) is definitely one of them.

*****

The babies are only a few weeks in gestation but they are already so loved by their aunties.  I hope that they will show us some very strong heartbeats on the ultrasound today, and in eight months they will experience the love from these aunties face-to-face.