First thing first, our transfer is done! We have one embryo safely home!
I slept really well last night. Focusing on God has really helped me be grounded and at peace. Waking up to my Face.book secret group ladies posting pictures of their super hero attires and socks on their kids and themselves was so nice and touching. Multiple friends and my sister-in-law texted me and sent me chat messages with their well wishes. I am certainly very loved, and I know it and cherish it.
My whole morning consisted of me keeping myself calm and productive. I made special Indian-spiced oatmeal on the stove top that Bob loves. I cleaned the whole kitchen, wiped the counter, and soaked the range hood baffle filters.
There is nothing better to distract myself than tidying up.
My wish was my phone would not ring. My clinic would not be calling me. Calling me would not be a good thing. That’d mean they would have some bad news for us. Nope. The phone didn’t ring. My mind rested a little. That meant we would have something to transfer. I was quite calm all morning. I might have had two moments of anxiety, but I knew that it was normal.
We arrived at the clinic at 12:35. We were supposed to meet my acupuncturist there at 12:40. I started drinking water at 12:20 but I knew that I probably wouldn’t be able to hold it until 1:45. I made a trip to the bathroom when we got to the clinic. We waited at a waiting room that was brand new to me. I guess because I had not done a transfer, I hadn’t been to the area. I took a Val.ium at 12:45. My acupuncturist, Bob, and I waited for another five minutes before a nurse came to greet us. She looked puzzled and said, “You guys are early.” I had to explain to her that we were here early for acupuncture. She said that it wasn’t in the notes, but it was okay. I told her that I told two different nurses about it during the fertilization report phone call, and asked if I should’ve called or done something differently. She assured me that I didn’t do anything wrong. She would talk to those in-cycle nurses. She was super nice and told us that she’d set us up in one of the transfer rooms.
The set up for transfer in this brand new clinic is sweet. At the old clinic, you would have to go to a resting area with everybody and do your acupuncture there with the curtain closed. Right here, there are four transfer rooms. You have an hour before the transfer and an hour after transfer to do the pre- and post-transfer acupuncture sessions in the same room as the transfer. I was situated in transfer room number four. My wonderful acupuncturist let me lie down on the transfer table, put needles on me, and keep me warm with warm blankets that the clinic provided. I drank quite a few more sips of water before I fully relaxed. The light jazz music was a bit too upbeat for acupuncture. However, the effect of Val.ium and the acupuncture had such a relaxing effect on me that I almost fell asleep. It was quite an experience to do a session right in the transfer room.
The session was done five minutes prior to transfer time. Bob came in to join me. He had on his Superman shirt. I had my usual Superman socks on.
At 1:45 sharp, the nurse and Dr. Scrubs entered the room. She greeted us and handed us a picture of our blastocyst.
She explained that it was an early blastocyst two (EB2). I was a little bit confused because I was expecting a blastocyst with a number and two letters, like 1AA, or 2AB, or something like that. I really didn’t know what EB2 meant. Dr. Scrubs said that it was a good blastocyst. They are watching three to four more embryos that could become blastocysts that can be frozen tomorrow. I asked her if it was necessary for us to know the grading of this early blastocyst that was going to be transferred. She said not necessary, but she thought that it was a good blastocyst. She also said that she’d be surprised if we didn’t have more blastocysts to freeze tomorrow. She said it’s fairly common to have day six embryos to freeze. And we could see all the gradings on the fertilization report print out that she gave us.
I laid down with my legs up. She cleaned the area to make sure the mucus wouldn’t be in the way of the embryo. When the nurse placed the abdominal ultrasound wand on my tummy, I could then feel my full bladder. I was all along worried that I didn’t drink enough water because the full bladder wasn’t unbearable, but the nurse reassured me that it was perfect. Once Dr. Scrub was ready, the embryologist came in to introduce herself and asked me to verify my name and date of birth. She went back out of the other “secret door”. On the big screen, our little embryo was shown.
It was super cool to watch the camera zoom out and a catheter came into the picture. The tiny little embryo was barely visible on the screen. The catheter sucked the embryo into it.
Moments later, the screen switched back to the image of my uterus. The embryologist came in with the catheter (I always wonder if she/he had ever dropped it….). She handed it to Dr. Scrubs. Dr. Scrubs told us to watch the little white spot that would go in.
See that little white line in the middle of the image? That was the catheter. Once that was done, the embryologist returned to the lab to check on the catheter to make sure the embryo was gone. We waited for a couple of moments. The green light of the door was off, which signaled an all clear. Our transfer was done!
Dr. Scrubs congratulated us and told us to wait for that phone call tomorrow. I stayed behind for my post transfer acupuncture session. I was feeling at peace and calm. I lay there and just enjoyed the moment of quiet for another 30 minutes.
After the session was done, I said good bye to the acupuncturist and thanked her for making the trip over there. Bob and I studied the “Oocyte and Embryo Status Report”. We see that our little early blastocyst that we have nicknamed “Kevin” was from a 9-cell with fragmentation of 4 and symmetry of 1. It actually became a blastocyst. There are three embryos labeled “EB1” or “early blastocyst 1”. These are from the 10-cell (fragmentation 2, symmetry 2), 10-cell (fragmentation 3, symmetry 1), and 9-cell (fragmentation 2, symmetry 2). There is a morula called “MorulaC” from a 4-cell (fragmentation 2, symmetry 1). All the rest of them arrested. So it seems like those four will have the potential to grow and be frozen tomorrow.
How do I feel? I praise the Lord that we had a blastocyst to transfer today. I am super grateful. I was at first confused and then a little bit disappointed. I was expecting young donor eggs to have better “quality”, whatever that means. And I was expecting to have a more grown or expanded blastocyst. And I was also expecting that we would have something to freeze today. However, I have gotten over that. I might have allowed my “Kevin”‘s day three grading to affect my point of view of its potential. But I have got to put my trust in this process. This embryo is from a young egg. Despite its less than stellar status on day three, it grew to be an early blastocyst. I am going to embrace this little embaby and pretend that I am pregnant. Plus, numbers and stats don’t mean much to God. If this is God’s will for us, He will make sure that this embryo is normal and let it stick. So my plan is to nurture myself and my body and talk to the embryo for it to stay put because it is really fun to come out eventually and meet his/her hilarious dad. I am also determined NOT to search online about any information about the embryos and any success stories/failures that could cause me anxiety. The less I know the better.
So here we are! Kevin is home. I will talk to it daily. I have hope that it will make my uterus its home for the next nine months. I pray that it finds a good place to implant inside me.