MicroblogMondays: Finally Pregnant

My friend who had 21 blastocysts from her second round of donor egg cycle is finally pregnant.  Eighteen out of the 21 blastocysts are PGS normal.  Eighteen!  What does one do with 18 blastocysts?  Her mother wanted her to transfer a male embryo mainly because she herself didn’t have a son.  Her husband also wants a boy.  My friend does not have much of a preference so she transferred a male embryo.  She is now 8 weeks pregnant.  Her 6 week scan showed a beautiful heart beat.  I am so thrilled for her!  I know that she is still early in her pregnancy but I am so hopeful that everything will go well, and that she will finally hold her baby after being on this journey for 8 years.  She still has a lot to work on in terms of grieving the loss of genetic connection with her child.  We have had numerous conversations about it.  I had been trying to convince her to see a professional to work through her feelings.  At least she is working with one right now.  It has been quite a trigger for me to walk alongside her on this journey, which is kind of unexpected.  I thought I have done grieving not sharing genes with my kids.  I guess these deep seated feelings don’t totally go away.  When she shares with me how she feels, I often tell her that I sometimes still feel something similar.  I will be curious to see how I fare emotionally as I watch my friend go through her pregnancy while processing her feelings.

3 thoughts on “MicroblogMondays: Finally Pregnant

  1. It’s always odd when we think we’ve dealt with feelings, but discover they’re still lingering. Perhaps “dealing with our feelings” doesn’t mean banishing them completely, but simply understanding them?

    I’ve also never thought about choosing the gender of the blastocyst! Fascinating. I hope all goes well with your friend, and that you are okay walking alongside her during her pregnancy.


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