MicroblogMondays: This Mother’s Day

This Mother’s Day was about celebrating with friends/family who finally became mothers after a long journey of infertility and standing by those who are still struggling.  In particular, I celebrated with my friend who finally got to have her premie twins at home with her after they spent 3 months in the NICU.  I wrote about her here and here.  (Recap: Twins were born via gestational surrogacy at 28 weeks and my friend and her husband were many hours away from the hospital.  They had to fly in right away but had to miss their kids’ birth). The NICU time was a crazy roller coaster with difficulty feeding and a host of health concerns for baby girl.  My friend and her husband stayed at Ronald McDonald House and the kitchen was closed there because of COVID-19, so she bought a microwave to heat up canned soup for meals.  Imagine living away from home caring for premie twins with health concerns.  Now the NICU days are all behind them as they are safely home as of three weeks ago.  New life with twins is definitely difficult.  They didn’t have time to prepare for the twins’ birth.  They had no baby shower and hadn’t had the time to clean out the tiny one bedroom apartment in the city to accommodate two new lives.  But they are resilient people and make do with what they have.  One year ago was when I first met her via my own reproductive endocrinologist.  This friend had just lost her first baby when her GC’s betas started dropping.  She lost so much of her hope and couldn’t fathom her situation turning around.  When we first met and had a phone conversation for two hours, I told her what my dear friend A. always told me, “Things don’t change until they change”.  She would not have imagined in her wildest dream one year ago that she’d be a mother of two babies who repeatedly puke all over her.  It has been hard taking care of twins without any help amid a pandemic.  But she is taking it in stride.  I am just so joyful for her that she gets to celebrate her first Mother’s day snuggling her own babies.  A friend of mine I met on a food tour in Hawaii has also been struggling with making a baby.  Despite her being in the trenches, she always writes me a Happy Mother’s Day message.  She had made some embryos prior to the pandemic shut down and I really wish that she can start transfer again as soon as possible.  I also reached out to my friend who has been trying for years, and to my cousin who had three miscarriages last year and will start a Clomid cycle soon.  I know how hard this day could be for people who want to be a mom, and I hope that my reaching out  to them has brought some love and warmth to them on this difficult day.

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