MicroblogMondays: Premies

About 4.5 weeks ago, I wrote about my friend whose gestational carrier was 3 cm dilated while carryings twins for her.  It was 23.5 weeks or so.  Her GC had been placed on bed rest at the hospital since then.  The goal was to get to 24 weeks, 28 weeks, 32 weeks, and then 36 weeks.  My friend had had some difficulties communicating with her GC in terms of her attitude in general and cooperation with the bed rest rules.  I won’t go into details about it but it had been stressful for my friend who lives 8 hours away.  Everyday she was dealing with the legal aspect, the GC’s front, and worrying about the babies being born so early, as well as the insurance and the extra cost of having a GC on bed rest.  Well, yesterday morning she sent me a text saying that her GC went into labor a little while ago.  Yesterday was 28 weeks.  She and her husband weren’t told details.  They booked the first flight out and needless to say missed their twins’ birth.  When they were at the airport, they were told that their babies were born and taken to the NICU but weren’t told their conditions.  When she got to the hospital, since her prebirth order was still pending as 28 weeks was still early, she had to get permission to see the babies.  She finally saw the babies.  They were initially on feeding and breathing tubes.  Since then, the babies have been moved to CPAP in the afternoon and they seem to be breathing on their own most of the time.  Her GC said No to providing breast milk to them even though the doctors said that it is critical for her babies.  Basically, everything is a mess.  Her husband has been on the phone with the social worker and attorney to expedite the birth order.  They are now 8 hours away from home and will be there for some time.  She already feels inadequate and feels like a failure to have to use a gestational carrier to have a baby.  I can only imagine how she feels now.  If she could carry her babies herself, she would be extra careful with keeping the babies inside for as long as possible.  She wouldn’t say no to pumping breast milk for her own babies.  She wouldn’t have to be so far away from home and have no control over many things.  Looking at her situation, I am so thankful for having a very positive birth experience with our babies.  We got to fly on a plane as planned, spend time with Annie as planned, watch the babies’ birth as planned, and fly home with them as planned.  No extra care was needed.  What I had was a miracle and it makes me cherish having my kids so much.  Sometimes their behaviors make me frustrated, but I look at their health and growth, I have nothing but gratitude for Annie’s selfless acts.  Please keep my friend’s emotions and physical strength, her GC’s recovery, and her babies’ growth in your thoughts and prayers as they navigate the next many weeks of time in the NICU.

12 thoughts on “MicroblogMondays: Premies

  1. I can’t imagine how stressful this is. It’s hard not to feel frustrated with the GC, but of course I don’t know the whole situation. Keeping all of them in my prayers.


  2. We have no info about the condition of the GC so judging her is inappropriate in the extreme. It also does not help the parents of the babies or the babies.
    Milk banks is best answer. To those who criticized GC … Just how much milk did YOU EVER DONATE to a milk bank? GC’s milk may not have come in, I remind you.
    Prayers help.
    MAYBE Ronald McDonald house for housing of parents or other similar housing that the hospital can help them with.
    Very best wishes. This is not a situation any parent wants.

    Liked by 1 person

      • In this case, she is a great producer. She didn’t want to provide breast milk unless my friend and her husband paid extra for the milk on top of what was agreed on the contract. Since they said yes to paying extra, she’s been pumping and getting good amount.


  3. Pingback: MicroblogMondays: This Mother’s Day | In Quest of a Binky Moongee

  4. Sometimes, no matter how careful you are, you can’t keep the babies inside long enough. Implying that early delivery is a matter of care overlooks this reality. My doctors, at a top medical center, and all the peer reviewed research I could find when I thought they were wrong, all agreed that strict bedrest makes no difference in delaying delivery with premature dilation. This contradicts ‘common sense’ and many years of practice, but it’s still supported by the most current research.

    I was an “extra careful” mama and delivered at 18 weeks, 21 weeks, and 31 weeks, despite following every order and doing everything possible. Being careful couldn’t change my outcomes. Implying otherwise ignores the medical reality and puts blame somewhere it doesn’t belong.

    I wish your friend and her twins the best of health as they grow. Preemies are amazing.


    • There were some things that the GC did the night before birth that I didn’t write about. I am not going to write the details now and I didn’t want to write the details then when I wrote this blog post. If my friend were the one who carried the twins, she would have made a different choice. It might or might not have made the difference. But the choice that the GC made wasn’t helping with keeping the babies in longer.


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