MicroblogMondays: Support

I made a new friend through my previous reproductive endocrinologist Dr. E back in May.  The twists and turns of her fertility journey are as complicated if not more so than mine.  She had just had her first positive pregnancy via a gestational carrier.  Unfortunately, it resulted in a miscarriage.  Needless to say, my friend was devastated.  Bob and I went through something similar prior to our successful transfer of our twins.  I understood how she felt.  Because of this, I have become a support to her because she is such a private person and has not opened up to many people in her life.  I told her something that my friend A. told me, “Things don’t change until they change”.  It became true for her.  The next transfer of two embryos resulted in a pregnancy with twins.  Just like us.  I have been so thrilled for her.  At first it was hard for her to be joyful about it.  Who can blame her?  After a long twisted journey like hers, it is so hard to be happy about this anticipating that another shoe will drop.  As the gestational carrier’s pregnancy progresses, my friend has become a little bit more relaxed each time I talk to her.  We continue to have contact when I give her my opinion on things, encourage her, listen to her, and start helping with getting ready for the twins’ arrival after their 20-week scan.  Last week, this friend called me while I was at the dentist so I couldn’t pick up the phone.  My heart jumped out when I listened to her tearful voicemail message.  At a bit over 23 weeks, her gestational carrier was 3cm dilated, and my friend was devastated.   She just couldn’t bear the thought of having her babies so early and the risk of losing them.  I won’t go into too many details about it, but my heart goes out to her.  After such a long journey and finally waiting to have her babies, she is facing this tremendous challenge.  I am glad to report that her gestational carrier is currently on bed rest and is stable.  Sometimes I wonder why God put me and Bob on this path.  And then I meet a new person who is also on a similar path and I walk with them on their journey.  At that moment, I am thankful that God allows us to have come out on the other side and be an encouragement to those who are going through the same thing.  This is what this is about: a community and a support system for those in the trenches so they feel heard and understood, and that they are not alone.  I am so glad I could be that support for my friend.

5 thoughts on “MicroblogMondays: Support

  1. I honestly think that’s what keeps me going sometimes. If my horrible experiences can just once help someone feel supported or less alone, or give them some sort of useful information to help them over a hump than maybe it was worth having to go through it myself.


  2. This is one of my list of Gifts of Infertility. Being able to help others, who know that we have been through the same things, is an honour and a privilege. It helps make sense of our losses, our struggles. It could be easy to walk away. I’m glad you’re there for your friend.


  3. Please keep us informed….. and tell her there are total unknowns holding her and the children and the carrier in prayers. Every day and week helps.


  4. Pingback: MicroblogMondays: This Mother’s Day | In Quest of a Binky Moongee

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