MicroblogMondays: Yesterday at Church

I like how my church handles Mother’s day in the last couple of years.  A few years back, mothers used to be asked to stand up in the congregation.  I remember one year the pastor asked those mothers with more than a certain number of kids to remain standing.  The one who had the most kids received a special gift at the end.  I was still in the throes of fertility treatment at the time and it was for sure difficult for me to sit through these moments.  I noticed that in the last couple of years, my church stopped passing out flowers at the entrance of the church to mothers.  Our pastor would acknowledge the day, but also those who struggle on Mother’s day for whatever reasons, may it be struggling to have children, or miscarriages or infant loss, or strained relationship with their mothers, or the loss of their mother.  He’d pray for all the people who find this day difficult.  The church itself still passes out flowers to mothers, but the format has been much more subtle.  When I picked up my kids from Sunday School yesterday, I found a box of a single orchid sitting on the counter with my name on it.  It was for me to pick up.  I like that.  Not shoving-it-in-your-face-in-front-of-church kind of way.  But still acknowledging this day.  As for me, yesterday was just another day of me being my kids’ mom.  Just like any other day, except for texts and well wishes from many of my friends and family.  I actually was more thinking about my friend who failed her last transfer of her embryos as well as losing her beloved mother-in-law last month, about how difficult it must be for her on this day. I sent her a text early today to tell her that I was thinking about her.  My friend doesn’t go to church, but if she did come to my church, I don’t think she’d be uncomfortable, and she’d appreciate the prayer from my pastor.

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4 thoughts on “MicroblogMondays: Yesterday at Church

  1. I like how your church does it now. I opt to stay home on Mother’s Day because it is too painful to sit there and also too painful to be acknowledged as the “different” mother. The mother whose son died a few months ago, the mother who has had 4 miscarriages, the mother that has no living children.

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  2. I love that your church evolved into a much more inclusive and empathetic way to celebrate mothers AND acknowledge the difficulties of those who struggle with Mother’s Day. How lovely to have an orchid waiting for you, discreet but also celebratory, when you went to pick up your children. I’m glad you had a good day, and you sent that text to your friend. I’m sure she appreciated it.

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