MicroblogMondays: Division of Responsibility

The babies are 15 months already.  I guess they are not technically babies anymore?  But to me they will probably be babies for a long long time.  Lately, what they eat has become the bane of my existence.  Before the twins’ birth, I didn’t even know that feeding toddlers would be a big issue.  Well, I have discovered that it is something that many parents struggle with.  I guess it’s because what they consume is tied to their health, and I feel a tremendous responsibility to make sure that they eat well.  The twins flip-flop on how well they eat.  Pre-one-year, Okra ate everything we offered him whereas Bunny would spit out most of the new foods we let her try.  After they turned a year, Bunny eats many of the things we put in front of her with good quantity and Okra would turn his head and not eat.  But there are things that he would eat and she would refuse, such as eggs.  How can she not like eggs?  I love eggs so that makes me sad.  Sometimes Okra pushes away the whole plate and cries and whines.  Meal time stresses me out.  I count myself lucky if they are willing to eat the same food during a certain meal.  I feel helpless when they don’t eat, and worry about them not consuming enough proteins, or vegetables, or dairy.  I find my effort to ask them to try or eat something futile because of course they don’t and won’t listen to me.  I started reading up on feeding toddlers, joining groups on Fac.ebook and following various people on Ins.tagram, a social media that I used to dislike.  At first I was just trying to find ideas to feed the kids.  Then I came across something called “Division of Responsibility”.  Basically, I as a parent am responsible for choosing what to provide for them and the when and where.  The kids are the ones responsible for choosing what and how much to consume.  This is vastly different from what I thought feeding kids was all about, and very different from how my mom raised us.  You can look it up and read up on it yourself.  It just speaks to me when I struggle to make sure my kids eat enough of something.  It takes away the stress of coercing or forcing my children to eat.  I always make sure that there is at least one type of food that they’d eat in their plates, and always make sure that their meals consist of some vegetables or fruits, some sort of grains or bread, and some sort of protein.  But if they choose not to touch a certain thing, or if they choose not to eat too much of it, I have learned to refrain from telling them to try just one bite or to eat.  It is not the easiest thing to implement and it does break my heart to see that they didn’t eat much of anything for a given meal, but I have to look at the bigger picture and assume that the babies are not too hungry for their food for a given meal and will eventually balance out what and how much they’d eat.  I am still new at this but I start to find meal time a bit more enjoyable as I sit back and watch the babies decide on what to do with their own food.  There are sometimes pleasant surprise, such as the other day Bunny picked up some scrambled eggs, stuck it in her mouth, and did not spit it out.  I’d call that a win.  I will keep on offering and do my part.  As the babies learn to be eaters, I continue to learn to the best mom I can be.

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3 thoughts on “MicroblogMondays: Division of Responsibility

  1. Mealtime is definitely something most of us moms stress about, it seems. I’m glad you’re learning to have a more relaxed approach. It’s exactly the advice my pediatrician’s office gives. I’ve found with my kids that they go through phases of being really picky and then other times of eating better. I also have found that, for example, levi won’t eat raw peppers but he gladly eats them when they are diced and cooked into something. Eh, kids. 😂

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  2. I highly recommend the @feedinglittles instagram account. They have online courses you can take to help but they believe and teach the same thing though I’ve not heard it called division of responsibility. I really enjoy their perspective and the recipes they post!

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