MicroblogMondays: “Freedom”

After eight days of being home, my trip quickly came to an end.  Unexpectedly, my emotions were all over the place the last day I was in my home town.  I woke up thinking that this would be the last time I would roam around my birth place “freely” all by myself.  It would be the last time I could quickly get ready to go out the door, meet up with my dad for breakfast without a lot of effort, ride on public transportation without much thought, and go in and out of stores at a shopping mall independently without a lot of care or consideration.  And that was what happened.  I savored the “freedom” that I had on that particular day because my life is going to change drastically the next time I step foot in my place of origin.  I will no longer be only responsible for myself.  I will have two lives that are dependent on my provision and care.  I have been waiting for a very very long time for this responsibility and it made my last day there with my family different and memorable.  For this reason alone, my trip home was the correct choice for me in terms of my emotional state and timing.  Without my grandmother’s funeral, I would not have had a chance to experience this final “freedom” before I become a mother of live children.  It made me nostalgic of what I have been given so far in my life but at the same time my gratitude for this opportunity to become a mother grows exponentially.  It is hard to explain my feelings on that last day.  It is complicated.  It signified a sort of finale and a beginning.  I am just grateful that I have this day to remember and I am quite sure that when we return to my home town with the twins in the future, I will be even more appreciative of the reality of a new life and this lack of “freedom” that I have been craving for so long.

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4 thoughts on “MicroblogMondays: “Freedom”

  1. Wishing you only good things!! Such a good mess of emotions, if there ever is such a thing. I’m so sorry about your grandmother, but I am happy for all the good things to come for you.

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  2. Sorry about your grandmother but isn’t this how life seems to work? Something bad happens that opens up a new opportunity or experience. Best of luck in the new chapter !

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  3. What a beautiful post. I love this idea of freedom versus lack of freedom and the complex emotions in becoming a mother of twins. I’m so sorry for the loss of your grandmother. I’m glad you got to make this trip.

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