It has been such an emotional roller coaster ride for me.
I didn’t sleep that well Sunday night. My mind was a bit unsettled with grandma’s news as well as the scan on Monday. There was no reason for me to be nervous. I had been quite confident that the pregnancy was going well, but my irrational mind would sometimes take over. Sometimes I suddenly had this fear that both babies somehow were no longer there. Annie had been doing very well. She felt a bit yucky for a couple of weeks whenever she ate sweets. If she didn’t eat sweets, then she’d feel fine. She joked that the babies took after me as I don’t eat candy. It is kind of funny to think that way because it’s impossible for them to take after me, the one parent with whom they have no genetic connection. Bob had been also irrationally nervous about the pregnancy especially 1) we were still early in our pregnancy and 2) Annie hadn’t felt a whole lot of symptoms so Bob didn’t get the reassurance that she was still pregnant. We have to keep in mind though that this is somebody who never really felt much sickness during the first trimester for all of her pregnancies. Anyhow, Annie had been very calm and confident that the pregnancy was going well. She is already showing. You could check her out on the page labeled “Gestational Carrier’s Bump Photos” on the left side.
Monday morning, I repeatedly prayed for God’s calmness and peace, as well as my complete trust in Him. Nevertheless, I was still a bit nervous. And I was also mourning the loss of my grandmother as I suddenly teared up in front of my coworker. Gotta love Annie. She is always so on time, or I should say early. Her appointment was at 11am, but I received the payment receipt from the clinic at 10:50am already. At 10:56, my phone rang and it was the video call. Once connected, I could see a wiggly baby on the ultrasound screen! The connection was horrible and the image was all grainy, but it was the most amazing thing I had ever seen! Baby A was moving around on the screen. All I could do was to exclaim at the growth and Baby A’s resemblance to a real baby. When I heard Baby A’s heartbeat for the first time, it was just music to my ears. Although it was delivered on a tiny iPhone screen with exceptionally poor connection, I didn’t care. It was just wonderful to hear how fast it was beating! This baby was moving so much and was so lively that I couldn’t help but guess that this would be the girl! Baby A’s heart rate was 168.
Then it was Baby B’s turn. This baby was hiding for a little bit and took a little bit of time to locate. I wasn’t sure what I was seeing, and I was told that the baby was on his/her tummy. The technician shifted the view for a little and went back to Baby B. All of a sudden we saw that the baby flipped! Now he/she was facing up. Both babies were doing acrobatic moves for me! It was just so surreal to see how lively they were at such a young gestational age! Baby B’s heart was beating super fast as well, measuring at 167.
While staring at the screen, all I was thinking to myself was I just really wanted to be there physically seeing my babies and witnessing all the scans I could go to so that I wouldn’t be missing anything. It was tough to be so far away. But I am also tremendously grateful for the opportunity to even be “present” this way with the help of technology.
I didn’t get to see how big the babies were measuring or what the cervical length was on the video chat. I couldn’t quite hear what was told to me but I gathered someone was going to call me after the appointment. I was feeling relieved and overjoyed that the babies are alive and well, but at the same time I was still a bit unsettled with the uncertainty of the cervical length. I told Bob the good news and both of us were so happy and relieved that both babies are doing well. Annie called me after her appointment and delivered more good news. Baby A was measuring ahead at 11 weeks 1 day. Baby B was right on time at 10 weeks 5 days. Her cervix was 4.1cm long! Praise the Lord! At that point I was completely relieved because I don’t have to worry about the cervix being short and any potential complications that a short cervix may cause, for now. I can at least breathe at this moment.
If you are interested, you could click over to the ultrasound photos on the left side. The babies do look like babies now. We will be 11 weeks tomorrow. I still haven’t told my boss. I will tell her after our next scan, which will be in two weeks at 12 weeks 5 days. I am just so incredibly grateful to be at this point. I know we are still early, but as we get to each scan with good news, it has become more and more real that we may just be able to meet our children in about 27 weeks. I can’t even fathom how I will be able to stay calm for the next many months, but I know that I can at least be able to breathe more easily for the next two weeks.