We are currently in Annie’s town waiting for our first prenatal ultrasound. As you know, we opted out of doing a third beta. Waiting for another beta was simply something that I didn’t want to do. So we took a leap of faith, purchased plane tickets, and hope to be able to see some flickering heartbeats on the screen for the first time.
How have I been feeling? I feel hopeful that we will finally see a heartbeat (or two heartbeats) for the first time in our journey to make a baby. Annie has been feeling mostly okay. She hasn’t felt nauseated but was feeling yucky last week. She said that food didn’t sound good at all, and she could not cook raw meat. Having food aversion is similar with her last two pregnancies. The difference is that her symptoms only lasted a few days the last pregnancy but it has been persistent during this pregnancy. Although I felt sorry for her feeling yucky, I was happy that she was feeling pregnancy symptoms. It is reassuring to know that maybe things are on track and her body has been changing rapidly. She continues to feel very tired, which is also a good symptom to have.
Despite having a lot of hope, sometimes I still feel anxious as I have the fear that we might not see anything on the ultrasound. My daily prayer is for Annie’s health and safety, the baby/babies’ healthy growth, safety and protection for Annie’s family, and also for Bob’s and my complete trust in the Lord for what He has planned for us. I believe that God has been protecting me from having negative thoughts. Although I still at times have this fear and image in my head of not seeing a heartbeat, I more often have joy in my heart that we may well be on our way to becoming parents. Not being the one carrying my own baby/babies only occupies a fraction of my mind. The rest of my mind is very much appreciative of Annie’s selfless choice of helping us build our family.
I am letting myself to have a little more faith that the pregnancy is progressing as it should be. These are the things I’ve done:
- lying in bed discussing baby names with Bob at bed time
- searching online, reading, and watching videos about pregnancy at 6 weeks and beyond
- telling my dad about the good news
- upping my 401K contribution per paycheck so it will reach the annual limit by end of July in preparation of maternity leave sometime in August or September
- sharing our news with my HR person at work so that I could get educated on maternity leave by our HR person
- marking on my work calendar 12 weeks and 20 weeks so I know when we may have to fly out
- finding myself thinking about the second bedroom in the house, how we will move the bookcases out of the room, and finally doing window treatment in the whole house after our remodel four years ago
- thinking about the possibility of doing a maternity photo shoot with Annie and how to go about doing one
- thinking about the need to purchase a new car to go pick up the baby/babies later this year
- thinking about the reality of actually having a baby shower
As you can see, I’m making progress in believing that this may well be happening.
Our trip to Annie’s town was as smooth as one could hope. The flight departed on time and arrived early. The whole place was covered in snow.
But it wasn’t that cold. Kenneth came to pick us up as Annie wasn’t feeling too well. It was so wonderful seeing them again. And it is so amazing that we are staying with Annie and her husband so we could save on hotel. Annie’s two younger kids were waiting out front for us in the snow. We went to pick up eggs from the chicken coop in their backyard.
Annie and Kenneth are truly lovely people. They made Bob a turkey/Thanksgiving dinner because Bob usually gets a prime rib Thanksgiving meal with my family and would miss having turkey. Annie couldn’t contain her excitement last week when she said she had a surprise for us. Bob was so touched and had a wonderful time having his turkey dinner for the first time in the past year.
The highlight of the night was the homemade piñata that Annie made for us. After the boys busted it open in the garage, we found what Annie had hid inside. She knit two pairs of booties and a headband for our babies.
So friends, this is it. We will find out the state of our pregnancy later this afternoon. I hope to have good news to share.