So at this moment, I am still feeling at peace and calm. However, my peace and calm was interrupted for a short while.
Monday night, which was 7 days past 5 day transfer, I found brownish stuff on my toilet paper. It was a minimal amount but it was enough to worry me. I was wondering why I was spotting since I had never spotted while still being on progesterone. I was afraid that my period was going to come. I posted my concern online with my TTC group friends. Many suggested that it could be implantation spotting. That night, I prayed and prayed, and finally felt a lot calmer and back to being at peace.
The interesting thing was, that night was also the night I felt like the half burrito that I ate at 5:30pm was suddenly stuck and couldn’t be digested at 9:45pm. It felt so stuck that I was miserable. Bob looked at me helplessly because there was nothing he could do about it. An hour later, I finally puked and felt so much better. Still, my stomach didn’t feel good going to bed. Fortunately, I woke up feeling fine the next morning. I thought it was stomach flu but nothing else happened after that.
My Fac.ebook TTC group friends were so funny. I posted that I was not feeling well with indigestion and puking. It was funny how puking in this context could get so many “likes”.
The spotting has continued on and off, never more than just on the toilet paper. I was still wondering if my period was coming, or if progesterone is making me spot. Again, many people reassured me that it is likely implantation spotting. Some even told me that they spotted around the same time frame and was with pink instead of brown. That just sounds so terrifying. Any sort of bleeding is terrifying.
Last night I made the ultimate mistake of googling things, like “Can you still have your period while on progesterone”. I basically committed a crime of freaking myself out unnecessarily. Good thing is, I do have some self-control. I have since stayed away from googling. And I have to remind myself that other people’s stories are not my story. My calmness level did go from 95% down to 90 even 80% at one point. But now it’s back to 95% although I continue to spot occasionally. And it’s no fun to check the toilet paper every time I wipe. I pray for myself to put my complete trust in the Lord and not to be discouraged by something as little as brownish discharge.
On Monday, before any of the spotting scare, I wrote my nurse an email pleading my case of moving my beta to Friday:
“I know that we had this discussion about the day I should do my first beta. I know that we have scheduled for February 15th. That’s 14 days past 5 day transfer, a whole 19 days after ovulation if there was an ovulation. It just seems very long to wait for beta. When I did my day 2 transfer, I waited 12 days so it was only 14 days past ovulation. 19 days past ovulation seems very long. Can I do it on February 12th, which is 11 days past 5 day transfer? That’s practically 16 days past ovulation. I truly believe that it’s enough time to be sure if it’s a pregnancy or not. Please consider that for me so I don’t have to wait for so long.”
And guess what? My nurse said yes! She wrote, “I will make you a deal. You can test on Friday and I will make you do a double check on Monday also. What do you think?”
Of course I said yes. I don’t know what difference it makes to her say if my beta is negative then on Monday it would still be negative. But if beta is positive then I’ll have to do a second beta on Monday to check on the level.
So guys, I get to do my beta earlier! Friday is so much better than Monday. I am so thankful that my nurse is understanding. I know she likes me. 🙂
I pray that I can continue to keep my peace and calm until beta day. And I hope the spotting will stop soon. I still talk to Lucy. I still pray for God’s protection on the embryo. I am still assuming that I am pregnant unless I am told I am not.
Two more sleeps!