Count Down

I woke up with a huge headache at 5am. It could have been the saltiness from the Chinese food last night, or from the inexpensive yet yummy Riesling that I drank (the first glass in a long time).  Bob woke up too and went and got some painkillers for me with a big glass of water. I downed both and went to the bathroom. I had an intuition about what was going to come, and I was right.  Blood! Aunt Flow has arrived! For real. Exactly one month after my last breakthrough bleeding. I’m glad my body decides to do its job. Thank you body. Sitting there, I checked the calendar to see when transfer may happen. Some time mid-November. How do I feel? I think my will power is weaker when it’s way too early in the morning.  It’s a mixed bag of emotions. I’m very excited that we will have a chance to transfer after thinking that a transfer was not possible this year with our previous donor’s disappearance. I truly believe that it’s very likely for us to have a chance to make a couple of good blastocysts without fearing that our donor would bail. At the same time, I’m scared to death that this is all for nothing, that we’d have to go back to square one like usual after our transfers. I do think that I’m more excited than scared. I feel fortunate that we have a chance and I think there’s a good chance that it will work. Things could go either way. And I will try my very best to focus on the potentially good outcome and not the alternative. Tomorrow I’ll go back on birth control pills. I received the donor consent letters from the coordinator on Friday.  We are to sign it and pay a deposit to secure those eggs before next Friday.  And the consent stipulates that we finish the cycle within three months.  I still have a couple of questions about the guarantee program. After that we’ll sign and pay up.  Things are moving forward. Let the count down begin!

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7 thoughts on “Count Down

  1. So excited for you!! ❀ Whenever I'm scared, I just think, "But a year from now can be totally different." Thinking of you and sending lots of prayers! November is soon!!

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