Life has been busy since a new year of Bible study has started. I hope that I will eventually find time to update you all on our egg donation situation. In the mean time, I want to share with you all about some sort of breakthrough I had.
It’s not a huge deal. It really isn’t. But, I can actually joke with my pregnant coworkers about their pregnancy.
The Bay Area was unseasonably warm the last couple of weeks. Our office is air-conditioned. My pregnant supervisor was in a meeting with my department. She mentioned several times that it was very warm in that room. I didn’t feel warm at all. I looked at her and said, “It must be your pregnancy hormones.”
Not too long after that, someone poked their head in the room. This is the coworker who got pregnant when she was engaged. She just walked down the aisle last month with a six-month baby bump. She said that she had reserved the room for another meeting. Then she went, “Wow, it’s so warm in here.”
I looked at my pregnant supervisor and said, “See, I told you. It’s the pregnancy hormones! I am not at all warm.”
We all laughed.
Afterwards, I thought about it and realized that, Wow, I actually joked with these pregnant coworkers about their pregnancy. In the past, I would have said nothing. In fact, I would have repeatedly sung “la la la” in my head to block off any auditory stream of pregnancy talk. I totally surprised myself this time.
Of course, I still have moments when I just want to hide from the world.
Just last Friday, I happened to walk by my newly married pregnant coworker talking to someone else. They were chatting about how not to drink our work place’s water if you didn’t want to get pregnant. They started laughing about it. I really had this urge to turn around and say that I am the proof that drinking the water there does not help one bit. But I bit my tongue and tried to walk away as quickly as I could. Just then, one of the coworkers said that she predicted so-and-so (another coworker in her early 30s) would be the next one getting pregnant. I knew that I wouldn’t be the one others would predict, but it still didn’t feel very good to know that the possibility of other younger coworkers getting pregnant before I do is quite high.
I just hate this kind of talk so much.
But I am doing better in general. You know I’ve been giving presentation in Cantonese to pregnant ladies on a monthly basis since the summer to teach them how to communicate with their babies once they are born. I actually enjoy engaging with them, although I am not a big fan of public speaking. I have been feeling more and more comfortable talking to a bigger group of people about something that I am passionate about. At the same time, I am also looking forward to the end of the year when our contract with this project ends.
After last Wednesday’s presentation, the project lead followed me outside and told me how much she loved my presentations these days and how natural and comfortable I looked up there talking to these first-time moms-to-be. She then said that the project has received additional funding and would like to extend our contract until the end of 2016 so that I could give one talk per month until then.
Wow. More big baby bumps.
But hey, I have a new thought and renewed optimism. Maybe sometime next year I will be pregnant with my first baby, sharing my professional expertise with these first-time moms-to-be as a first-time mom-to-be myself.
Isn’t that a wonderful thought? I truly think that it is an attainable dream.
We shall see what the future holds.