As required, Bob arrived at the clinic to give a sample for his semen analysis. This is not the usual location, the one that he was used to. Our clinic had moved. The new fancy schmancy location is like a maze, not one with which he was familiar. He checked in at the front desk with one of the ladies, who might have been a little embarrassed about the word “semen” because she just looked at the screen and said, “Oh you are here for… okay”. He was asked to pay up, which surprised him because probably like many husbands, he didn’t listen to or remember his wife telling him that the cost is not covered by insurance because of the special analysis (strict morphology) required by this particular clinic. A male lab technician came and led him to a room. At the old clinic, he would usually just be left alone to do his business. This time, this guy felt the need (or was told, maybe?) to show Bob around the room where he would produce a sample. He explicitly told Bob where the towels, the DVDs, and the lubricant were. Awkward…… Then he left. Bob looked around. He opened the cabinet door expecting to find “educational material” . Uh oh. NO educational material. Although we often joked about how dated the magazines were and how infrequently the previous location replenished the supply, they were available to help male partners with the process. This fancy schmancy new location doesn’t even provide any magazines, old or otherwise. The only thing that was left in the room was those DVDs, which didn’t help because it is not Bob’s kind of thing. He did look at the cover for giggles so that he could tell me what they were called. It was volumes one to four of “Boo.ty Patrol” with this posted on the wall:
Poor guy. He didn’t have all the time in the world to get it done. And he definitely did not want to watch any videos. So he had to resort to his phone. The sample room is right next to the embryology lab. He could hear clinging and banging sounds from next door while he was concentrating on his mission. He didn’t know what to search for at first, so it took him a few tries before he got the right combination of words to get something that was useful. It really wasn’t easy for a guy like him who doesn’t look at these images online.
I wish that clinics could be a little more considerate when it comes to helping men achieve their goal. Especially for those who don’t watch videos or enjoy online images.
Bob should get a gold star for completing this mission despite unexpected technical difficulty.