Another Pregnant Coworker

My Dear Colleague who only works part-time wrote me a message since she wouldn’t be in the office until the next day.

It was a heads-up.  She learned in a meeting that another coworker of ours is pregnant.  She debated whether or not to tell me because this was not her announcement to make, but she wanted to protect me and allow me time to process it first.  New Pregnant Coworker is going to make an announcement this week.

First, my heart sank.  I knew New Pregnant Coworker had been trying for a baby for quite a few months.  She got engaged not too long ago but apparently had been on the TTC journey well before her engagement.  She will definitely be showing for her August wedding.  I swear that I saw her tummy sticking out last week and I just brushed it off.  What I saw was real.

Cue panic.  My first thought was, where should I be hiding when she makes her announcement?  I hope she does not make it during a meeting.  I also hope that she does not come to me personally and tell me the news.  In this particular moment, I am in no shape or form to blurt out a congratulations.  Maybe I will be okay if she does come to me?  I don’t know.

Then the sense of unfairness came over me again.  Given her age (she is a year or so younger than I am), it somehow hurts more for her to be pregnant than for my other younger coworker.  Did I expect her to have more trouble due to her age?  Yes.  Do I wish infertility upon her?  No.  But still, the why her and why not me is ringing loudly in my ears.

Standing at my desk in my office, tears started streaming down my cheeks.  I was  very surprised by my reaction.  I thought I wouldn’t feel as sad because I kind of knew it would be coming.  I guess anticipation and reality are two different things.  I am so thankful for having an office and a door.  Being behind closed door allowed me to cry all I wanted.  I was due for a good cry anyways.

I am also grateful for Dear Colleague’s heads-up.  I don’t know what I would do if I got ambushed without knowing the news ahead of time.

I am telling you now that I will eventually have a third pregnant coworker.  My supervisor just returned from her honeymoon trip and I have a strong feeling that she is already pregnant.  I could be wrong.  But my instinct is pretty good.

Guess where I will be hiding at lunch for the rest of the year?  My office will be a pretty good refuge.


22 thoughts on “Another Pregnant Coworker

  1. Hugs.. I cannot imagine constantly being around someone who is pregnant. I have a hard enough time with my physical therapist’s assistant 2x a week. I’m sorry you have to do with this too. I’m glad you were given a heads up too.


    • I have another pregnant coworker who is due in August. She’s really showing and often talks about her pregnancy. I sometimes have lunch in the conference room, but nowadays I often sit in my office. I just can’t stand all the pregnancy talk. I can only imagine more pregnancy talk now that more than one person is pregnant.


  2. Thank goodness for that office and your helpful coworker. I think she made the right call for you. I hope you receive peace and even joy through this stage of your journey. I’ve been wondering how things were going for you. It feels like it’s been a long time since you’ve posted anything.


    • Thanks girl. Yeah… so much has happened since we started looking for a donor. Things keep changing. The more I don’t write about it, the more the information keeps on piling up. I know I am due for an update. 🙂 Thanks always for your support.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, girl. Yeah I can’t imagine if I were told right then and there by my new pregnant coworker. I mean, I would survive it. But I’d much prefer this way.


  3. Mother effer. Nice that you have some advance warning, though. At least you don’t have a dumbass boss like I did who suggested that I should spend some more time with the pregnant ladies because it might rub off on me.


  4. Hi Isabelle,
    I was in similar shoes for a long time. I know the kind of hurt and anger only too well that hits you announcement after announcement. I felt lost, defenseless and deeply sad.
    Despite these unwelcome news, I notice that you never lash out or act mean towards others. You even try and put a brave face on so as not to make others feel bad.
    I think this says a lot about you as a person.


    • Thank you so much for your kind words. They mean a lot to me. I try to be as kind as possible, but I also know that I sometimes can’t. When I can’t, I just shut up and not say anything. I am sorry that you went through the same thing too.


  5. SO UNFAIR. Why do you have to deal with this at work too? Can’t people just keep this to people who actually care, like their families? Can’t they leave that stuff at home? Why would she need to personally come tell you? And how nice of that co-worker to give you a heads up.

    I am so glad that I just work with a bunch of older guys who don’t even like the kids they already have.

    You’re braver than I am. This kind of thing would make me completely shut down. I might even go to my car to cry.


    • My work had been a safe place for a really long time, until people started getting pregnant. I just have to get used to it because there is no escaping work.

      Thanks for the support. 🙂


  6. I understand your pain. For the last two years I have experienced TWO months when somebody at work wasn’t pregnant. It was unbelievable. I tend to be very aware of it now and basically never talk about my own pregnancy…truth be told I kind of can’t stand most pregnant women.


    • Thank you. Isn’t it hard when there is always someone pregnant at work? And at my work, they are not all pregnant at the same time. When one goes on leave, another one’s belly keeps on getting bigger. *sigh*


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