A Break From Meds

It seems like the longer I wait to write about my current cycle, the more I don’t know what to write.  But for documentation’s sake, I should record what has been going on.

The last time I wrote about it was exactly two weeks ago.  At that time, my hormones were going crazy and I posted my chart.   From December 31, 2014 to January 23, 2015, I had full flow of my menstrual period three times and evidence of ovulation two times.  That was in a matter of 24 days.  If you don’t call that insane, I don’t think what qualifies to be.  After I decided to take a break from treatment and taking any more hormones after my third full flow, I had a decision to make: spend $600 on a saline sonogram that would ensure a clean lining sans fibroids or other potential problems.  On Monday January 26th my nurse scheduled one for me for that Friday with my own RE.  I needed to confirm by Wednesday.  I could potentially pay less money if I went with my own insurance provider.  However, after emailing my OB/GYN, it seemed like it would take a little bit of time, possibly a few weeks, before we could get it scheduled.  Since this was an off month, it would be best to do it now before ovulation.  Next month will be too late since we will start our treatment cycle again.  My nurse told me to make sure it’s done before ovulation, unless we’re not trying naturally.  Well, lady, we are SOOOO trying naturally.  I am not going to miss a chance to get pregnant for free.  I confirmed the appointment for Friday, and started tracking my cycle like crazy,  doing all the things that I really hadn’t been doing in the past few months of treatment.  I diligently checked my basal body temperature daily.  I did my ovulation prediction strips everyday.  On Thursday I got a positive OPK.  When I did another strip again that night, the OPK was already lighter.  So I was afraid that I was about to ovulate.  We had a BD session that night.  My usual pattern is that my temperature would shift up the next morning after a positive OPK.  Well, my BBT was still low the next morning.  But I was feeling very uncomfortable to go through with the saline sonogram not knowing if I had ovulated.  For all I know, I might have ovulated but my body might not have responded to the progesterone yet.  I called the nurses station.  At first I was told by the nurse that my nurse said it would be okay to go ahead with the saline sonogram.  But I just wanted to confirm with an RE.  The nurses station nurse later called me back with one of the RE’s messages: if I had a positive OPK the day before, and we had been trying naturally, then we should just cancel the saline sonogram.  So after all the consideration for the money, all the tracking and wondering and worrying, we’re still not closer to the answer about my lining.  The funny thing is I feel a sense of relief.  I don’t know why and I can’t put my finger on it.  I guess because my lining has never been a problem, I still feel like it will be okay if we don’t check it, trusting that it will be okay.  The ironic thing is, my temperature did not rise for another day, but my OPK continued to be lighter and lighter.  Here is the current chart:

photo (2)

I adjusted the crosshairs because I didn’t like what Fertility Friend gave me.  As you can see, we tried to time things well.  Poor Bob had to perform and was so relieved that my temperature finally rose.  We know that we have tried our best.  The rest is left up to God.

Since we’re going to attempt another cycle if/when my next period comes, I will usually start estrogen priming by taking Estra.ce seven days past ovulation.  However, this time, I feel that my body is still telling me to rest from all hormones.  I emailed my nurse a couple of days ago, asking her to ask Dr. No Nonsense if it’s okay to not do EPP this time and just start a cycle without any suppression.  Dr. NN is okay with it.  I am grateful that I have a doctor who is willing to listen to me.

So this is it.  We are back to what we’re asked to do all the time and honestly been doing quite well at: waiting.  On our 38th month of trying, I feel that we’re coming to fruition of some sort.  Like an end of a journey or a finale of something.  It feels like one way or another, next month will hopefully be the month that we’ll finally do our second transfer ever to have a chance at our baby with my own eggs.  It feels like a huge deal.  And it IS a huge deal.  I am full of anticipation and really hope and pray that things will go smoothly.  I have been so ready to move onto the next step, may it be transfer, pregnancy, or starting our egg donation process.  It is exciting and I am grateful that we will get there soon.

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