MicroblogMondays: I Talked to My Pregnant Coworker

Microblog_Mondays

After I discovered that one of my coworkers announced her pregnancy at 7 weeks, I avoided her like crazy when I returned to work from the holidays by not eating in the lunch room and not walking the hallway if I didn’t have to.  When I heard her voice down the hall, I waited until it was gone before I headed out.  The day after Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, I saw her in the morning waiting for the elevator with her patient outside of my office.  I made eye contact with her, smiled, and patted on her shoulder.  I could see that her belly had already started to bulge out a little.  I checked my emotions and found that I was feeling okay seeing her.  So I decided to bring this one level higher: eating in the lunch room to see what would happen.  While I was heating up the lunch, my pregnant coworker walked in.  She was at that point about 10 weeks or so.  I said Hi.  She said Hi and asked how my long weekend was.  I decided to see where the conversation would lead, so I told her that I had a great weekend and also cleaned the whole house on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.  She said, “Oh that was great!”  She went on to say, “My husband nowadays has to do that because you know, I am pregnant and get so tired so easily.  He’s nesting like crazy.”  I didn’t say “Oh wow congratulations!” or “I’m so happy for you.”  She hadn’t officially announced her pregnancy to me but I am sure she knew that I knew, since words travel fast.  All I could mutter was, “Oh yeah you’re pregnant.” Then I deliberately changed the subject by asking her how her husband was doing.  He was injured at work a while ago and I thought that he was back at work. Apparently he returned to work but psychologically wasn’t ready so he got sent back home.  At that point, my coworker said, “Oh I have to run… I have to pee all the time these days.”  That was our conversation.  Her official announcement to me.  My official acknowledgement of her pregnancy.  I was feeling fine talking to her, but couldn’t help but wondered, Who would nest so early on in their pregnancy?  Well I guess I was ignorant as the American Pregnancy Association points out that nesting can happen anytime during a pregnancy.  So I can now tell my skeptical self that it could happen to me when I get pregnant.

Ever since that encounter, I have eaten in the lunch room most of the days.  Sometimes I can stand the sight of her.  Sometimes I can’t.  But I am feeling good that I made that first step to acknowledge her pregnancy so she officially knows that I know.  If she ever comes to tell me any pregnancy symptoms and if I can’t stand it, I am still planning on telling her the CliffsNotes version of my struggles so she would back off.  I’ll cross that bridge when it happens.  I don’t even feel guilty (nor should I) that I didn’t say congratulations.

In the meanwhile, I am also bracing for my immediate supervisor to announce her pregnancy any time now (as I know that she was planning on trying after her wedding last October).  I am quite sure that another coworker who just announced on FB that she and her boyfriend had become Mr. and Mrs. would start trying right away, or maybe have already started trying.  It’ll just do me good if I can adjust my attitude right now so I can survive emotionally at work.

One day at a time.

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18 thoughts on “MicroblogMondays: I Talked to My Pregnant Coworker

  1. Okay, this woman is the most obnoxious preggo ever! She has to fit her pregnancy into every sentence, least anyone forget for a second that she’s not pregnant. Um, I helped clean our garage and install a floor over MLK weekend. This chic is just lazy and it sounds like her poor husband was less able to do the heavy lifting. You were gracious to chat with her, but I wouldn’t feel guilty about avoiding her on the principle that she’s annoying in general.

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  2. Teachers are breeders, so working in a school, i can empathize. You have become so strong and self-assured in navigating this stuff, staying calm when you can and giving yourself permission to walk away or set boundaries when it’s not healthy for you!

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  3. She sounds like a freakin nightmare! Hate preggos that have to mention it at every opportunity! Grrr. Well done you for facing her x

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  4. I’m cracking up at the definition of “nesting”–basically it’s doing anything. I’m with Jane–this woman is obnoxious and lazy. I’m not even sure if I’d dignify her antics with true feelings–she’d probably just tell you how much you’re missing out on. Hang in there girl and I can only hope that some of these just married ladies take a breather before breeding and give you a break.

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  5. Having been through multiple rounds of pregnant coworkers (many of which have had 2nd babies in the time I’ve been trying), I totally sympathize. Good for you for being brave enough to face the situation and compassionate enough to know your limits.

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  6. Well, on one hand I can understand being exhausted and feeling awful at 7 weeks, cause I was. But if you come to work I still expect that the focus is mainly on doing your job, not on the pregnancy all the time. It’s probably good that you took initiative to talk to her because now you are in control of the situation, and if you choose to avoid her you can be comfortable with that choice too. hugs.

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  7. just realized my pronouns are a bit confusing in last comment. To clarify this sentence: “But if a person comes to work (as opposed to staying home sick) I would expect that that person’s focus is mainly on doing their job, not on the pregnancy all the time.”

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  8. I have an acquaintance like that, who includes some mention of her pregnancy and now baby every. single. chance she gets. I get that it’s her life now, but… isn’t there anything else in the world that she can talk about every once in a while? It’s so hard to keep being polite anyway… props to you for talking to her

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  9. I kinda hate that your coworker is getting thrown under the bus so much by my fellow commenters. Being pregnant is just so exciting that some women can’t think of anything else to talk about. It certainly wasn’t a very good way to announce it to you and I think you’ll definitely need to do some more avoiding, especially on emotional days since she can’t seem to make legitimate conversation (discuss things that both parties are interested in and can relate with or to or whatever).

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    • I agree with you that it wasn’t that bad. I was just caught a little bit off guard by the nesting comment. I know that it could be exciting for her. And there is nothing wrong with talking about it. I just know my limits and hope to avoid her on the day that I don’t feel too good emotionally. Just like what you said. She actually came and sat next to me yesterday at lunch and we carried on a decent conversation with minimal mentioning of the pregnancy, so that was good. 🙂

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  10. I don’t think many of us would nest that early due to PTSD and the fear of “jinxing” (which doesn’t exist darnit!) because of our experiences with IF. I am glad that you don’t feel guilty because that means you are taking care of your emotions and I am also glad that you aren’t letting where she is dictate where you are – because she shouldn’t have that much control over what you do, you know? Good for you for testing the waters with your feelings and finding you can swim just fine – even if only for a little bit ❤

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  11. I just stumbled upon this post and want to vent after having a tough day with an obnoxious pregnant coworker who “just got pregnant on the first try!” while she and her jerk fiance were wedding planning. He is awful to her and she is happy to have finally trapped him once and for all. She announced her pregnancy to the entire office at about 8 weeks which is how far along I was when I miscarried recently. She’s been yapping to anyone who will listen about “making babies this summer” since they got engaged last fall. I’ve never taken the bait because to her everything is a competition. Meanwhile I had a miscarriage in February with my incredible husband of 3 years and we are tiptoeing back into TTC. I told her about my miscarriage and asked her never to bring it up but told her if I don’t seem super excited for her, this is why. Thought this would keep her out of my hair, and it has to an extent, but she still gets in her unnecessary pregnancy comments when I’m within earshot as much as she can and I know the rest of her pregnancy is going to be a huge challenge for me, esp since she sits one cubicle over and is loud as hell. Thank you for this post and all the comments. I know I’m not alone but it’s so easy to forget.

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