The craziness of my hormonal mess did not end when AF showed up ten days ago. Let me tell you what has been going on.
My basal body temperature was at 97.1 when AF arrived on cycle day one. I had regular flow for three days. On cycle day four, I was spotting. I thought that I could start tracking my basal body temperature to more easily pinpoint ovulation this month so I have some semblance of *control* or maybe just knowledge of when my next cycle would be. I was shocked that morning when the little window on my thermometer showed 98.0 in the dark at 5:30 am. My usual cover line for charting is about 97.3 and 97.4. The high temperature usually means post ovulation temperature shift. Remember it was cycle day four only. So what does that mean? I of course would need more data since this could be a one time fluke. But my suspicion was that I had ovulated from those follicles that I grew in the last luteal phase. At that point, I was still spotting. It was quite weird to think that I was bleeding and ovulated at the same time.
The temperature the next two days confirmed that I indeed ovulated as they were at 98.0 and 98.1. I continued spotting for two more days. I thought that the temperature would maintain high for another ten days or so like a regular luteal phase. But nope. It started dropping and I had light flow on cycle day 7 and full flow on cycle day 8. I had my second full flow within eight days of my cycle. Let me show you my chart so you know what I am talking about.
I didn’t know that your body can bleed, ovulate on cycle day 3 or 4, then have a mini luteal phase, then full flow again.
Isn’t that messed up? I feel like my body is screaming for me to stop taking any hormones and just rest and rest and rest. Because of this strong sense I got, I actually did something that I had never done before. I usually would go with the flow when my RE suggests a scan, or going forward with a cycle. But this time, Bob and I made a decision for the next steps. Let me explain.
I had emailed my nurse earlier this week to ask if my RE had any explanation for my crazy hormones, or maybe he had seen it before and could tell us what the next steps should be. I really don’t want to recruit follicles so early in the luteal phase so I wondered what he would suggest doing. I also had a question about whether or not my intramural or submucosal fibroids would interfere with implantation or impede the growth of a fetus. I had an abdominal myomectomy in October 2011 to remove many tiny fibroids but they had already grown back the next year. Every time I go in for a scan, a new doctor would comment on the fibroids. I know that they exist but Dr. No Nonsense never said anything about them being detrimental to a pregnancy. I wasn’t thinking much about them until my research on the donor egg Success Guarantee Program at San Dieg.o Fertility Center showed that they wouldn’t accept a patient into the program unless the intended mother does not have any submucosal fibroids or have surgically remove them. I know that as long as my fibroids are not in the cavity, they don’t affect implantation. But I just don’t know how these newer fibroids would affect my chance of keeping a pregnancy. I emailed my nurse again and asked that.
My nurse didn’t get back to me until Thursday late afternoon. She said Dr. No Nonsense wanted to see where I was at during my cycle. I informed her that my basal body temperature dropped and I started having full flow again. So in a sense, it was kind of like cycle day one all over again. She then said Dr. NN wanted to have me go in for an ultrasound the next day, just to see where my ovaries are at. (To that, my dear friend M answered, “Inside your body.”) And we could also measure the fibroids during the scan to see what state they are at. I asked if it would make sense to take a break this cycle rather than moving forward with it. She said that this is a discussion between me and Dr. NN. So I scheduled the appointment and hung up.
However, all night long, I felt this nudge telling me to cancel the appointment. I remember last cycle how I was kind of pushed into growing those follicles in the luteal phase and pumped myself with extra hormones from the Meno.pur and Gan.irelix. I mean, no one forced us but my first instinct was to not push forward with follicles that were growing in the wrong phase of the cycle. I don’t want to go into another scan being told to start meds and see what happens. I truly want to give my body a rest. I know I am 40 1/2 and approaching 41. I know that I don’t have a lot of time to waste. However, at the same time, I don’t want to push forward when I know that my body has been giving me warning signals to just rest and rest and rest. So I was debating with myself to see if I could justify the need for a scan just to check on my fibroids. After a discussion and understanding the situation, Bob voted for canceling the appointment. I prayed and prayed for it. I had peace in my heart, feeling that God’s will was for us to take a break regardless of what the scan would show.
My appointment was set at 2:15pm. I emailed my nurse at 9:30 am:
“Please ask Dr. No Nonsense if I should still come for the scan today if I plan on taking a break this cycle to let my body rest? Or if it’s still beneficial to check on the fibroids today to see if they will interfere with transfer next month?”
I didn’t know that Dr. NN would call me. I felt lucky that I had my phone with me when I went to heat up my lunch. I stuck it in my back pocket and it rang when I was in the kitchen. We had a good discussion about my situation. He asked me why all of a sudden I was concerned about my fibroids. I didn’t go into the whole success guarantee program in another clinic. I said I was just wondering about them. He said that he wouldn’t have said to move forward with a transfer cycle if he thought that the fibroids were a problem. My previous hysteroscopy and saline sonogram all indicated that my cavity was free of any polyps or fibroids. Intramural or submucosal fibroids are fine for getting pregnant. No one knows what they would do in a pregnancy until one gets pregnant. He said that removal of these fibroids doesn’t really help with pregnancy. As long as I don’t have fibroids in the cavity, I am good to go. However, if I am really concerned, I could do a saline sonogram again to make sure nothing is wrong. He asked me how I wanted to proceed. It comes down to the cost. I would have to pay out of pocket if I did it at my current clinic. Or I could ask my OB/GYN to do it and let the cost be part of my deductible for my health insurance. I told him I would think about it.
As for my current cycle, I told him that I would like to take a break. I didn’t ask him why my hormones are so messed up. He agreed with me that my hormones are messed up and a break is a good thing. So if we decide to put the cycle on hold, then I could just cancel the appointment in the afternoon that day, since the scan wouldn’t really tell me much about my fibroids.
I am grateful for this phone call with him instead of passing messages back and forth via my nurse. After consulting with Bob, I called the clinic and canceled the ultrasound appointment. I hung up and felt good that I am listening to my body this time. I really didn’t want to go into an appointment, seeing some follicle growth, and be swayed into thinking that it would be a good idea to cycle again just because I would be scared of delaying yet another month. I want my body to be in the most tiptop shape that I can be (whatever that means) before we try for one last time to make some embryos.
I hope that my body can feel my love and decide to cooperate again. For those who pray, could you please pray for my body to return to hormonal balance? Thank you so much. It’s about time our embryos return home, a nice a cushy one that is ready for them.