In this journey, it’s inevitable that we’ll encounter a time that requires healing to move on. Unfortunately, this Thanksgiving weekend once again called for such a time. My emotions recovered rather quickly after the initial blow of a failed fertilization. We attended my brother’s thanksgiving dinner and socialized with others as if nothing major had happened. However, when late night came, the heart-wrenching feeling returned. Despite that, I did not lose any sleep. I woke up refreshed but immediately was reminded of the fact that we would not be receiving a day-two embryology report. I had a strong urge to do something mindless and productive. So this is what I did:
Standing in the sunlight-infused kitchen, I replenished my spice containers and filled spices that were not already labeled in new containers. I lined them up in my spice cabinet. Seeing all my spices neatly displayed somehow brought the much needed order in my life and allowed the first moment of healing to take place. It may sound strange to find comfort in spice jars but that was exactly how I felt. I needed order. I needed control. And this was what I could control in my life the day after receiving bad news.
Onwards and upwards.
(Food also brings healing. This is a picture of the three-month belated birthday brunch for my niece’s sweet 16.
Huevos Rancheros, duck confit egg benedict, and creole crab cake with eggs.)