The Most Idle Cycle

Can you believe it? I still don’t know what’s going on this cycle.

Ever since the last scan on Sunday, I had not heard from my clinic.  I am not too concerned because my follicles were tiny so I don’t think I will ovulate any time soon. I waited patiently both Sunday and Monday.  I finally emailed my nurse yesterday but her auto reply said that she was out of the office.  I didn’t feel the immediate need to contact the nurse team line as this was not an urgent matter.  This morning I called my own nurse’s direct line and left a message.  I received an email from her just now:

“What a disappointment this cycle…  Dr. No Nonsense has not been in touch and we do have you in mind.  He is back officially tomorrow and you are one of my patients that we will be discussing about next steps.  Hang in a little longer.”

I did an OPK yesterday and got a faint line.  I don’t think I am in imminent danger of ovulating.  I can still wait a couple more days before another scan, if that’s what the clinic decides to do.

The funny thing is, I am feeling fine.  I am not overly anxious about the future. I know my own timeline: I wanted to make a couple more embryos this month and next month, and transfer before the clinic closes on December 21.  But I’d be stupid if I didn’t learn a thing or two about fertility treatments.  Unpredictability is the name of the game.  Waiting is another name of the game.  Last two cycles are like miracles.  Things went well and we got embryos.  I can’t possibly expect every single cycle to be the same.  This is a marathon, not a sprint.

So on that note, I am doing okay.  At times frustrated.  But most of the time, I am just going with the flow.  The truth is, what can you do?  Nothing.  You can’t force the follicles to grow.  You can’t force your period to come.  You wait.  Although my mind must be churning subconsciously as I have been waking up three to four times a night for three nights already, needing to use the bathroom, or overly thirsty and needing a drink of water, or just plain sweaty.  Don’t know what’s up with that.

The good news is, I have confidence that God knows what’s going on.  God knows the answers.  God has the plan.  I put  my trust in Him and He’s been giving me peace.

Life goes on.

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13 thoughts on “The Most Idle Cycle

  1. I’m impressed at how calmly you’re handling the idleness–I would be far more anxious in your shoes. But it’s good to keep your eye on the big picture and to have faith that it will work out the ways it’s supposed to. Hang in there, and hopefully you’ll get more information tomorrow.

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  2. Cancelled cycles are really annoying. You are being very wise and zen about this. it’s great! I had to cancel 2 cycles even after doing all the stims myself and I remember being really bummed. At the same time I went ahead with a cycle which should have been cancelled and ended up in no embryos. That made me more accepting of the cancelled cycles.. I hope next time it’ll work out!! Big hug. xx

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  3. Ugh, so frustrating, you are handling it much better than I would. I am hoping that you get some clarity soon and get closer to next steps. You are in my thoughts 🙂

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  4. I’m so impressed with the way you are taking all this in stride hon. It’s true that there is nothing you can do and thankfully you are not showing signs of ovulating in the next few days, but I hope your clinic gets it together soon. In the meantime, I’m glad God is giving you peace. Praying those follies start growing and make some magic this cycle!

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