Can you believe it? I still don’t know what’s going on this cycle.
Ever since the last scan on Sunday, I had not heard from my clinic. I am not too concerned because my follicles were tiny so I don’t think I will ovulate any time soon. I waited patiently both Sunday and Monday. I finally emailed my nurse yesterday but her auto reply said that she was out of the office. I didn’t feel the immediate need to contact the nurse team line as this was not an urgent matter. This morning I called my own nurse’s direct line and left a message. I received an email from her just now:
“What a disappointment this cycle… Dr. No Nonsense has not been in touch and we do have you in mind. He is back officially tomorrow and you are one of my patients that we will be discussing about next steps. Hang in a little longer.”
I did an OPK yesterday and got a faint line. I don’t think I am in imminent danger of ovulating. I can still wait a couple more days before another scan, if that’s what the clinic decides to do.
The funny thing is, I am feeling fine. I am not overly anxious about the future. I know my own timeline: I wanted to make a couple more embryos this month and next month, and transfer before the clinic closes on December 21. But I’d be stupid if I didn’t learn a thing or two about fertility treatments. Unpredictability is the name of the game. Waiting is another name of the game. Last two cycles are like miracles. Things went well and we got embryos. I can’t possibly expect every single cycle to be the same. This is a marathon, not a sprint.
So on that note, I am doing okay. At times frustrated. But most of the time, I am just going with the flow. The truth is, what can you do? Nothing. You can’t force the follicles to grow. You can’t force your period to come. You wait. Although my mind must be churning subconsciously as I have been waking up three to four times a night for three nights already, needing to use the bathroom, or overly thirsty and needing a drink of water, or just plain sweaty. Don’t know what’s up with that.
The good news is, I have confidence that God knows what’s going on. God knows the answers. God has the plan. I put my trust in Him and He’s been giving me peace.
Life goes on.