Highlight of last weekend was meeting Jennifer T and hanging out with her and Bob over a bowl of bread pudding. She was in town for business so we agreed to meet Sunday evening. It was SO MUCH FUN to see her in person and just talk. I have been following her journey for quite some time and have been so excited for her ever since her cousin got pregnant with her baby. To my surprise, Bob wanted to come meet her too. So the three of us walked over to the diner right next to the hotel and just had dessert and chatted for next hour and a half about anything and everything. Such a lovely and fun lady! I am so lucky that I got to meet with two bloggers in the last month. I just love this community so much.
Remember I talked about the clinic accidentally charging me less than what the billing department intended? I read and reread the email and was really not sure if the coordinator was actually asking me to pay retroactively. You can judge for yourself:
“The first 2 mini-stim embryo freeze cycles you were charged the incorrect amount of $XXX by [billing coordinator] giving you an added savings of $563 each cycle. The correct charge of $XXX was in the letter she just sent. I had emailed you a fee outline with the $XXX amount on 7/22/14. Template attached. Please let me know if you have additional questions or need further assistance.”
So to be safe and not waiting until my scan day to get a surprise, I enlisted my friend M’s help to draft an email about it:
“Thank you for your clarification of the charges. As you know, we are solely funding this effort ourselves, and we receive no money from insurance or any other tax benefits. As such, the clerical error made by your billing staff represents a significant burden. We are willing to accept the rate change for the upcoming cycles, but I ask that you reconsider charging us retroactively for an error that was not our making. I understand that we were informed by email of the proper rate, but I feel strongly that it is the responsibility of the clinic to provide correct information at the time of payment, not rely on the memory of the client. Thank you for your attention in this matter.”
To that, the patient coordinator wrote back and said:
“We are not charging you retroactively for the difference in cost on the first 2 cycles. It was not mentioned in my email to you.”
Well bad news is, I made a fool out of myself. Good news is, instead of paying an additional $1689 for three cycles, we are responsible for the extra $563 for the current cycle. Like what M said, owing $500 is much better than owing over $1600.
Those are the good moments of the week. How about the scan? Well….
I don’t know what to think of it and how to feel about it. Today is cycle day 8. Our first scan after five days of Cl.omid shows that we may have three tiny follicles growing. I was prepared for just one follicle. I was not prepared for no dominant or bigger follicle. The lining was good though: at 9.4mm. The NP couldn’t tell if it was trilaminar because it’s tough to do a clear ultrasound with a big fibroid. Imagine my surprise when I lay that and did not easily see a dark spot on my right ovary. And some tiny dots on my left ovary. The NP pushed on my ovaries and got a better measurement on both sides. It appeared that we had a 6mm and 4mm on the left, and a 8mm on the right. However, because of some fluid buildup on the right side, the 8mm might even be smaller. I was disappointed. Usually at this point in the game, I’ll have at least one follicle over 11 or 12mm. I really don’t know if these follicles will continue to grow on their own. I just honestly want one follicle and one egg. So the NP told me to get my blood drawn to test my Estradiol, which was the first blood draw ever at this clinic because it is just not part of the protocol. I continue to be disappointed. And then my mind goes wild again. So… what if I have to cancel this cycle? Do we still do another cycle in December and transfer? One of my friends suggested that maybe because the half life for Cl.omid is long, that the buildup from the last two cycles messes up my hormones for this cycle. So does it mean that I should take a break from Cl.omid for a month? Should I still transfer in December without a retrieval? Should I transfer this month even if we have to cancel the retrieval? So many questions. No answers.
I don’t want to go ahead of myself. This could be an off cycle. My follicles could be slow-growing for some reason. Or like what Bob said, that this may be God’s way of telling us to wait. I have been exercising a lot of patience in this process. I feel a little impatient today. Why is there a new hurdle every single time?
I had a meeting with someone who is interested in having me help with a project which involves developing workshops to educate Chinese parents on language stimulation strategies at home. The meeting was right after my scan and I was still recovering from the disappointment of the results. This lady that I met with asked me if I had children. I just smiled and shook my head. She jokingly told me not to get pregnant until after the workshops are done. I know it was a joke but at that moment, I just wanted to punch her on her face. Especially this morning.
The nurse’s phone call instructed me to return on Saturday for a scan. No meds. Just as is until then. Half an hour later, she called again and said that the doctors actually wanted me to return on Sunday for a scan. Looks like they are giving my ovaries a lot of time to see if the follicles will grow. That will be four days from now. I don’t know if the follicles will continue to grow, or my body will decide that this cycle will be anovulatory.
My friend S said that I am doing very well. I was telling her that there is really nothing much I can do except for pushing on. She said, “You could have a nervous breakdown. Threaten divorce, affair… there are all kinds of things you COULD do.”
I guess she’s right. It never occurred to me that I should/could do the above. I am grateful that we had two amazing cycles and five embryos frozen. I will try to focus on the positive.
So seems like it’s the nature of these cycles to have ups and downs. Today, my Maya massage therapist whispered to the “girls” (the follicles) for them to grow well. My friend S gave the follicles some big names: Zeus, Goliath, and Godzilla. Hopefully the follicles will listen to Auntie S so that we can have some “ups” to look forward to in a few days.