Picked up my friend’s 10-month-old baby from her hair appointment and drove him to my house. This was the first time in a long time I had a baby in my car. At least ever since we started trying for a baby. Although I couldn’t see his face while driving (because he was facing the back), his presence was very prominent. He began to wiggle and shake the toys that were placed on him before we started the car. He babbled happily with dadada. I imitated his dada and he imitated my bababa. Although he couldn’t see me, he heard my voice and knew I was there. His imitation made this speech language pathologist’s heart sing. I reached my hand back and touched the top of his head and stroked his hair. I have to admit that the car was a lot more fun with a baby inside. At home, I placed him on the kitchen floor while I made rice. He was more interested in me than in the toys. When he couldn’t see me, he yelled out loud and smiled big time when he saw my face. When I sat close to him, he abandoned all the toys and leaned forward to hold onto me. I really couldn’t do anything else until Bob rushed home. Yes. He rushed home. This is one of his favorite babies. He left work early and ran home. I joked that he only rushes home when there is football or baby. That night he got both. Here are two pictures of him. One shows how hilarious he looked doing downward facing dog:
The energy was very different when there was a baby around the house. The liveliness was so palpable. The focus was always on that little person. It was like a glimpse into the future when we have our little one at home.
The house felt eerily empty when the little guy was gone. The next day, on my way to work, the emptiness was almost unbearable in the car. I so wish that I could reach back and touch my baby’s hair. I so wish that I could converse with him/her with babbling sounds. I so wish that I could do that every single day. Those fifteen minutes of his presence in my car surprisingly made a huge impact on me the few days after babysitting. That brief occurrence had such a long lasting effect that was so unexpected. The yearning is so hard to shake.
One day… one day I hope I have the privilege to take care of our own little one…