MicroblogMondays: “Remember to Relax”



I wrote about my infertile-no-longer-pregnant friend before.  After the last post I wrote about her, I decided to block her on gchat.  Life had been very nice and quiet and free of less than sensitive comments and unsolicited advice.  After blocking her for about two months, I recently unblocked her.  I’m sure she found it odd that I was gone for a while and am now back on.  She doesn’t talk to me as much as before, but does pop a question here and there about my cycles.  One time she asked if we had looked into any clinical trials out there.  I told her I wasn’t interested in those as I usually wouldn’t qualify for them.  I know she meant well… but because of her track record, almost everything that she says can be annoying.   Two days ago, she asked me how things are with UCSF.  I haven’t told her about all the recent cycles and I don’t intend to tell her any details anymore.  So I wrote back and said, “Things are good.  I’ll let you know when we have success.”  The original response also included, “I prefer not to go into details”, but I deleted it.

She managed to throw in this last line, “Remember to relax and not stress.”

What the heck.  As someone who struggled with infertility for four years, she should know better.  You see why I want to keep a distance from her?  Our exchange was no more than four lines and she managed to annoy me in such a short time…  She’s got some talent…


15 thoughts on “MicroblogMondays: “Remember to Relax”

  1. Ugh! The “just relax” response. I had the whole “I bet if you adopt Goldilocks then you will get pregnant” comment the other day. I almost lost it! But then I remembered a sermon I had heard and it helped me not pop her head off like a zit. The sermon said that we have two choices. We can either take on the offense and let the enemy win by destroying our mood and relationships or we can literally shake it off and respond in love because chances are there comment didn’t have malicious intent. I am not judging you for your thoughts or reactions because like I said, I wanted to drop kick her. But I am just sharing this with you just in case it might help you the next time because I know how frustrating it can be :/

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am not at the stage where I can shake it off and respond with love, but I did restrain myself and not say anything mean back to her. I was just silent. Later she said she always keeps us in her thought. I just said “thank you” with a smiley face. Thank you though! I know that there will be a next time if I keep her unblocked.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I think your track record through fertility treatments, including the fact you do egg retrievals without anesthesia, is proof that you have learned (and continue to learn) to handle stress and physical discomfort with as much calm, grace and fortitude as is reasonable to expect of a human being. And that is my definition of “relaxed.” Let’s face it, most of us do not have the option to abscond from our life’s responsibilities and pressures and go live in a spa or a mountaintop zen retreat (appealing as the idea may be). It is ridiculous for anyone to tell you to relax, because I’ll bet my boots you know more about it than they ever will.


  3. I hope you’re relaxing 😉 Sorry, couldn’t resist.

    I think some people just get under our skin, and if anyone could pinpoint why, it would save all of us a lot of heartache.


  4. Pingback: A Good Day | In Quest of a Binky Moongee

  5. That woman would drive me nuts. I’d either tell her – as nicely as possible – that all her advice isn’t helping, or I’d reblock her! You’ve got more patience than I would have. Well done!


  6. I have lately tried very hard to never tell someone who is ttc to relax. First, it’s not possible under all that stress and second, I don’t believe relaxing is going to change things.

    It’s hard sometimes to know what to say even though I’ve been there. I think everyone handles it differently so for me sometimes, instead of trying to say something “helpful”, I’m learning to just listen. 🙂


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