Bracing Ourselves for First Beta

I was going to write a long post.  I lost steam after starting it.  So… I am just going to say that, tomorrow is the first beta day.  I had been doing quite well until this morning.  I wiped and saw the slightest hint of pink on the toilet paper.  That pink sent me to a place of great fear.  Maybe deep down I don’t believe that it’s going to work.  We had very good distractions throughout the weekend.  We had Valentine’s Day dinner and Bob’s birthday celebration.  I thought that I was doing great with keeping my emotions in check.  Then I lost it this morning.  I cried because I felt doomed.  Nice to have hubby by my side.  He gently stroked my face and head and let me cry.  I was tempted to test with second morning urine… but then I couldn’t bring myself to do it.  I can’t bear to see one pink line.  So I didn’t do it.  I doubt that I will test before going in for the blood draw tomorrow.  The appointment is at 7:45am.  I’m sure I’ll be highly distracted all morning tomorrow until I get the result.  I am preparing myself for a negative result.  I know some may say that I should keep being positive.  It’s tough when you’ve experienced so much pain after so long.  What makes this cycle any different?  Then I read Caroline’s post.  I’m once again reminded that fear does not come from the Lord.  Thanks Caroline.  So here I am on the eve of first beta… Hoping for the best.  Bracing ourselves for the news that we don’t want to hear.

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26 thoughts on “Bracing Ourselves for First Beta

  1. Yes girl only hope for the best! The devil wants you to fear in order to steal your hope and faith because he knows that when you have both, his (the devil) efforts will be stopped. Don’t let him cause you to doubt or fear. God has great plans in store for you girl! Keep hoping in Him and His ability! xoxoxox

    Psalm 112:7 is my favorite verse for times like these. Slap it on the back of your hand….”They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the LORD to care for them.”

    waitingforbabybird.com

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  2. Ahhh, you’re probably on your way to your beta right now. Good luck my friend! I want you to hear good news today so badly I can hardly stand it. Sending you all the positive energy I can right now.

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  3. Thinking about you girl! Keep us updated. Remember to walk by faith, not by your natural circumstances. I’m glad the post spoke to you and thank for the link up. 2 Timothy 1:7 is one of my faves- God doesn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of love, power, and a sound mind. He desires for you to enjoy this pregnancy just as much as he wants it!! Keep believing xoxo

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