Maybe Babies and Other Babies

First off, update.  Today was the second follicle check.  I have already adjusted my expectation that we will have one follicle.  Any other ones will be a bonus.

I was of course still nervous.  My blood pressure was high and my pulse was even higher.

Dr. E first measured my lining.  It was 10.5mm with a trilaminar pattern.  She was very pleased with that.

Then she measured the “beauty” (that was what she called it) on the right side.  It was 20.5mm.  Interestingly, she also measured two follicles on the right that didn’t exist last Friday.  They were a 10mm and 8mm.  I don’t think they will materialize into anything, but they did join the party.

On the left side, there were two follicles like last time, a 14.5mm and a 11mm.  

I told Dr. E that we have decided to proceed with the cycle.  She was very pleased to hear that.  I said that since this is my pattern that there will be one dominant follicle regardless of my AFC, we’ll just try our luck and see what happens.  She then told me that her 44-year-old patient had only one follicle that turned out to be a 5AB blastocyst.  They won’t know whether or not they will transfer it until PGD is done.  Her comment is, I am so much younger than her other patients.  I will have a great chance.

I made sure to ask her about the lining.  When she showed me the trilaminar pattern, I was relieved.  I said, If we ever need to use donor eggs, at least I have a great uterus with great lining.  She looked totally shocked and said, No you did not just say THE dirty words?!?  Ha.  She cracked me up.  I guess I am not supposed to think donor eggs when my RE doesn’t bring it up.  She thinks that I WILL have a baby with my own eggs.  I really appreciate her vote of confidence.  But it’s also good to know that somehow I should be able to get pregnant… hopefully with my own eggs.  But if not, my lining should be good to go with any embryos.

She said that we could expect three eggs.  According to the number that she gave me, I told her that I realistically expect one egg.  Any other ones would be a bonus.  I really don’t expect the other follicles to catch up.  But I may be pleasantly surprised.  The 14.5 mm one may.  Again, my expectation is one follicle and one egg.  And we are gambling big time that this one egg will turn into a gloriously looking day five blastocyst.  Although, if the embryo(s) looks good on Day 3, we may consider transferring it.  I also really want to give Clay a chance to thaw and be transferred.  I hope that God will direct our decision when the time comes.

I went outside, signed some paper work, and again paid with a check with an amount that is enough to buy a nice used car.  I am going to hold out the hope that we’ll have some nice embryos that will turn into our babies one day, maybe.  I have decided to be hopeful until beta day.

We did the trigger shot tonight.  Retrieval is on Wednesday at 9am our time.  I will have to give myself a Cetrotide tomorrow at 4pm… I have never mixed my own meds… so this will be interesting as Bob will NOT be there at my work to do my mixing for me.  Deep breath.  Gulp.  


So what’s up with other babies?

Well, infertile pregnant friend finally gave birth to her baby girl.  You can read about her here, here, here, here, and here.  I am actually happy for her that finally she has given birth safely and soundly.  I can’t say that I can’t wait to meet her baby and hear her birth story.  But I am happy for her.

Another victory over jealousy happened on Saturday night.  Bob and I have been doing a lot of entertaining and been inviting many friends to come to our place for dinner.  We moved back into our newly remodeled home a year ago.  I was too consumed with my own life, misery, and fertility journey last year that I hadn’t seen many friends.  So beginning of this year, I made up my mind to start inviting friends over.  These are friends that we hadn’t seen in the last year or so.  This past Saturday we invited Alice and Mike over for dinner.  They knew our history and also knew that we struggle to get pregnant.  In my email to her, I did a P.S. and said that we’re not pregnant yet and will update them when we have dinner together.  Alice and Mike struggled over a year to conceive their first son.  Their second one, a daughter, was easily conceived within a couple of months of trying.  Alice is currently in her early 40s.  When I opened the door on Saturday, I saw all these adorable faces and invited them to come in.  Alice was wearing a huge shawl that covered her whole body.  When I was giving her a hug, I felt this huge thing in our way…. and I looked down, here she was with a huge belly… I was so so shocked!  I did not expect to see anything like this without a prior warning.  But I did not have an ounce of jealousy in me.  After I recovered from my shock, I began to be very happy for them and started asking 10,000 questions.  What happened was, they wanted to try for a number three before Alice turned 41.  They tried and tried and didn’t get pregnant.  So they stopped and was waiting for Mike to go get a procedure done last summer to stop all trying.  Lo and behold, she got pregnant when they stopped trying.  According to Mike, this was really an act of God.  Science probably cannot explain how they got pregnant.  He didn’t go into details but I could imagine them not timing things right at all.  Sometimes it’s like that.  It’s in God’s will so it really doesn’t matter how it happens.  It happens.

Alice thought about giving me a heads up with an email so to give me time to process her pregnancy news.  However, she explained that she couldn’t bring herself to writing me back with her pregnancy news after my email telling her that I wasn’t pregnant.  To her it just didn’t feel right.  I can see that.  So it was really okay.  Good thing I love her so much and am so happy for her that it doesn’t matter.  I am grateful that I feel this way and Bob feels the same way as well.  Needless to say, we all had a very lovely evening.  

She is due in two weeks.  So in no time, there will be another baby announcement.

Hopefully by then, I will have my own good news to share.  Beta will be on February 18th, the day of the baby’s scheduled C-section.


21 thoughts on “Maybe Babies and Other Babies

  1. Sometimes it’s difficult to get out of the infertility bubble and interact with the rest of the world. That’s really good you are able to reach our and connect with friends. It sounds like it is due time for you to be the one sharing good news 😉


  2. I am feeling really good about this cycle for some reason. I will be praying and spreading all kinds of baby dust in your direction. I’m glad that seeing her pregnant didn’t hurt because we all know that feeling and it sucks. It’s GO TIME!!


    • You’re the 3rd or 4th person who said that they’ve been feeling very good about this cycle. I hope you’re all correct! It’s a blessing that my friend’s belly really didn’t bother me a bit. It’s all God.


  3. I am sending you sooo much good luck for egg retrieval!! You did so well with your friends. I don’t think I would have felt too good if someone came to my house heavily pregnant without telling me. I’ve been a horror for the last year avoiding people. You’ve inspired me to try to be a bit more sociable again!! xx


    • It’s been so much fun to be sociable and having people come and see our nice remodel. I was avoiding people last year too so don’t feel bad. Thanks for the good luck wishes! We’ll find out very very soon. 🙂


  4. Oh, I’m hoping that 14.5er catches up. Sometimes they do. I’m glad that you’re at peace with all the pregnancies around you; it’s hard but it makes life more bearable to be happy for others. Although, if someone was about to give birth, knew of our troubles, and still couldn’t manage to send out an admittedly awkward, pre-arrival email to give us a head’s up, I would not have handled it with grace you guys did. You and Bob are the most patient and kind people, it’s very admirable.


    • All I can say is that I am grateful for not feeling mad or jealous coz it could totally turn that way. It’s just so unpredictable how I’d feel. Lately it has been good though. I do hope that the little follicle will catch up. If not, it is what it is. Can’t wait to see what happens tomorrow.


  5. The DIRTY words. Ha! You’re RE sounds so encouraging and a sense of humor is a great bonus. I know this was tough decision for you and I’m totally rooting for you. Smooth sailing for the retrieval tomorrow.

    Also, thanks for sharing about getting back into socializing and having people over. This is something I definitely struggle with.


    • My RE is wonderful. I would hate to part ways with her if this cycle doesn’t work but I really can’t afford her anymore beyond this point. Thanks for the well wishes! Yeah socializing last year was not easy and was almost nonexistent. It feels good to be meeting with friends again. And we’re also sharing our struggles with them. So it feels good to share and be supported.


  6. You will do great mixing your meds but I would be super nervous too. You got this! Good luck with those follies!! 14.5 just might be a sprinter… 🙂 Great news about the responding to your friend. It sounds like you are in such a great place. Get ’em girl! Sending lots of love your way for a nice retrieval!


  7. Good luck tomorrow with your retrieval… I am hoping you have some bonus eggs and are pleasantly surprised 🙂
    I admire how you handle your pregnant friends. So happy to hear you are in suck a great place!


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