Remember what I said my biggest fear was? That we don’t have any follicles? Well, this is not too far from that. My biggest fear has come true. Today was IVF #3 scan #2. Dr. E found one lonely follicle on my right ovary and nothing on my left. The decision that we had to make was:
1) Going forward with the cycle and trying to retrieve that one follicle/egg, hoping for the best
2) Converting to an IUI and continuing with the meds
3) Doing it the old fashioned way with timed intercourse.
Too bad Bob wasn’t with me this time. I headed out to speak with Dr. E’s finance person. Since we still have some insurance coverage, as long as we complete the IUI before December 1st, the whole procedure will be fully covered. We gave the big fat check to the clinic for the IVF on Saturday. The clinic had not cashed our check yet. I could get the check back right then and there and wait for another cycle to decide if we would want to proceed with a fresh cycle or frozen embryo transfer.
I headed out to the car and talked with Bob on the phone about it. If we decide to NOT go through with the cycle and convert to IUI, does it mean that we do not have enough faith that God could turn that lonely follicle into a great juicy mature egg, that could turn into a good quality blastocyst? If we decide to go through with the fresh cycle with one lonely embryo, does it mean that we are a fool, throwing tens of thousands of dollar into a seemingly bad cycle? So many questions. No one can answer for us. We can only go with our gut feeling. We talked for about ten minutes on the phone and decided to get the check back and convert this cycle to an IUI. Just about two months ago, I had four follicles on each side. I could have a repeat a month or two down the road. No one can tell us. My biggest concern with moving on is, what if that follicle does not have an egg? What if the egg is not mature? Anyhow, I walked back into the clinic, waited for the finance person, and was given the check back.
I still go back to see Dr. E on Wednesday for another monitoring ultrasound. I saw Dr. E in the waiting room and asked her if she still wanted to see me. She said she would prefer to see me on Wednesday just to make sure. If I’d prefer, I could do OPK without an ultrasound. However, my OPK is usually a few days earlier than the rise in my temperature so I don’t want to risk it. I have already taken that day off. I might as well go.
So that’s the update. Not the best news ever. But I am feeling amazingly okay about it. No crying. I am at peace with it. This cycle I have been praying for peace regardless of the outcome of the cycle. So here is the peace that I am experiencing. We look forward to the IUI. If this cycle doesn’t work, we will check the antral follicles again next month. If it looks like I have a few, I may do a fresh cycle in December. If not, we may decide to just transfer Clay back and see if he/she would stick. If that doesn’t work, we’ll move onto plan E, which is to start trying to bank embryos at the Southern California clinic. Maybe traveling is really in my future.
In an IVF cycle, anything can happen, especially for a woman with diminished ovarian reserve. One just has to press on and keep the hope and the faith alive.