Married Life for Two and A Half Years

We have been married for 2 1/2 years today.  I was asked by Dear Colleague if it feels like it’s been 2 1/2 years.  It actually feels longer than that length of time.  In the last couple of of years, we have gone through a major surgery, one major house remodel with an addition, three bathrooms, and a kitchen, three moves, one trip to India and Hong Kong, two job changes, trying to conceive for 22 months, consultation with four different reproductive endocrinologists, saving up money like crazy for fertility treatments, countless visits to Chinese doctors and acupuncturists, many bowls of yucky Chinese herbs, many tears, and two failed IVFs.  I don’t know about you.  That feels like a lot to me.  Although we have had our periodic fights robust discussions, I will not trade my husband for anyone/anything else.  Experiencing infertility together, he has shown me his strong faith.  I remember leaning on him and counting on his presence when we were hit with repeated bad news during our first IVF, when I myself felt so weak.  I can still feel the strength that I received from him when he held me tightly after our RE broke the news that our one embryo did not grow.  I sometimes think about the what-ifs.  What if I married my old boyfriend and had to experience infertility with him.  I don’t think my old boyfriend and I would ever have the kind of collective resolve that Bob and I have right now to achieve this goal of becoming parents.  Bob and I are very clear on our goal and do not waver in reaching our destination.  We do not know the path on which we will get there, but both of us have that determination that we would follow God’s plan and hopefully make it happen.  I am lucky that I am walking this journey with Bob, and not any other men that I dated in the past.  God has a plan for us and the first step of that plan was for us to meet and become one.  The Lord also gave me a husband that is goofy and funny and makes me laugh silly laughs all the times.  I am forever grateful for God’s plan and hope that our relationship will continue to grow strongly regardless of what life throws at us.   Happy 30 months, Sweetie!

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12 thoughts on “Married Life for Two and A Half Years

  1. Happy Half Anniversary. Struggles like this are the things that really test a union. I’ve heard many stories of fertility heartbreak tearing a couple apart. You’re lucky to have each other. If you can make it through this, you can make it through anything.

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  2. Happy Anniversary! I feel like our struggles have made our relationship stronger. I’ve hear other stories of struggles tearing them apart. My view is if you can get through the struggles it makes the good times soo much better.

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  3. Happy Anniversary! You two seem to have a very deep and loving relationship. I agree, it really takes a strong marriage to weather the storm of infertility. I often wonder how many couples we know who had children easily would still be together if they’d had to fight this fight. Certainly not all of them.

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  4. Happy Anniversary! Those husbands eh… sometimes we want to punch them in the face, but mostly we just love them madly. IF brings out the best and the worst in us all, and any relationship that can survive IF is an amazing one.

    Congrats xxx

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    • I was laughing when I was reading your comment. Yup! You’re so right about husbands! And I totally agree with you that IF brings out the best and the worst of us all. I am experiencing it right now first hand.

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  5. This post makes me realize it was our 2.5 year anniversary too! Am I bad that I forgot it? At least now I have your blog to remind me. 🙂 It hasn’t all been great times for us either but I know we’re strong and we’ll keep going, and so will you and Bob.

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    • Not bad at all! We’re just crazy people that remember the number of weeks/months/years we’ve been together or married. According to Bob, we’ve been married for 130 weeks. Same for you!

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  6. Happy 2.5 anniversary! I often think of my husband and I, that because we’ve battled so much in the four short years we’ve been together – illness, job changes, loss then infertility – that it’s put an unreasonable strain on our marriage, since romance and solidifying as a couple always played second fiddle to just getting through the next crisis. But then, I suppose that in many ways it is exactly those things *have* made us so strong, so committed as the couple we are today, and I don’t think I’d change that.

    It sounds like you and your husband equally draw strength from one another. All you’ve been through is a testament to your love and committment! That is a true and rare gift. Congratulations to you both on finding it, and may you enjoy many more years like this (minus the crises) yet to come 🙂

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  7. I need a ‘like’ button! Happy 30 months! You have been through a lot in a short time- surviving it all is most definitely a testament to the strength of your relationship. Good things to come, right? 😉

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