Nobody got on my nerves. Nobody said anything insensitive or mean to me today. I was just going about my own business and wrapping up things at work. I read a blog post and my emotions just hit me like a ton of bricks. A fellow blogger is 12 weeks pregnant today. Her egg retrieval was on the same day as my first egg retrieval. She got a positive beta with a much deserved pregnancy. My cycle didn’t go the way I wanted. I have been following her and cheering for her, sometimes silently and sometimes with comments. Today… after reading her post, it just dawned on me that it could have been me. I could have been the one writing a post about being 12 weeks pregnant if that truly was how it turned out. But it is not me. The could haves and what ifs were just too much for me to bear in that one moment. Emotions are such a complicated thing. I was happy for her, a bit jealous of her, feeling sorry for myself, and then feeling guilty for feeling sorry for myself and jealous of her. It was so tough. I was having a moment and starting tearing up about the lost opportunity, the unknown future of my frozen embryo, a reminder that twelve whole weeks have passed, the brutal reality of a second retrieval that resulted in nothing, and the road ahead that is so hard to predict. My dear officemate said to me, “I am surprised you don’t have more of these moments.” Well, I don’t have many of these. But today I do. And I am confronting my feelings instead of hiding from them. And what else can you do other than forging forward with what is left in us hoping and praying that the outcome will be what we have always wished for? I wiped my tears and moved on. Sometimes it is good to cry.