All of a sudden, I have all the time in the world

One little fluid-filled sac changed everything.  All the anticipated busyness came to a sudden halt.  Things in life are predictable again.  That tiny little thing in my right ovary is so powerful.

The ultrasound on Tuesday with Dr. E showed the cyst that was definitely shrinking but still in existence.  No IVF this cycle.  Au naturelle it is.  I don’t know why, but I felt a sense of relief rather than other emotions, such as disappointment or frustration.  Maybe I wasn’t as ready for this cycle as I thought I was?  I don’t know.  I am not usually one who would analyze my own feelings too deeply.  The plan is we’ll try naturally and contact Dr. E about a week after ovulation.  Hopefully the cyst will be gone by then.  If not, then she plans on doing a procedure called aspiration on CD2.  Usually birth control pills would do the trick of getting rid of the cyst.  However, with my condition, my ovaries might fall asleep for too long and will never wake up again.  So no no.  No BCP.  Dr. E also mentioned that usually these cysts go away by themselves about 75% of the time.  I am in the lucky 25%.

I was also very surprised to learn that Dr. E thinks that my left fallopian tube is totally fine.  Ever since my HSG last September, I had been mourning the loss of my left tube because the report indicated that the dye that was injected in me only minimally spilled over to the left tube.  This indicated a partially blocked tube due to adhesions most likely from the surgery.  I thought that I would never be able to get pregnant from ovulation on the left side.  Dr. E is one thorough doctor and does not like to believe a mere report from a radiologist.  She asked that I get a CD of the HSG from the hospital.  She looked over the image and said that nothing was wrong with my left tube.  She said she used to do 10 HSGs weekly for a long time so she is very experienced in reading these images.  She said that if the radiologist had waited for another five seconds and taken another image, the dye would have spilled all over the left side just like the right side.  Okay.  I trust her and I’ll take her word for it.  So out of all the not so good news, this is one piece of great news that is worth celebrating!

So anyway, the little cyst now makes this month very easy.  No injections, no cancelling people at work, no ifs or maybes when it comes to serving at church, attending parties, making plans with friends, or keeping my dental appointment.  All the excitement of the first IVF cycle has been pushed back to the last week of June and first week of July.  Unless, we get so very lucky to get a BFP on our own.  How about that one last chance to be one of those lucky ladies to tell the world that they got a surprise BFP right before IVF?

With that said, here is the list of what I am thankful for today:

  • the Lord who is always there when I pray and when I need Him to keep me calm
  • my work that keeps me busy so I don’t have a lot of time to think too much
  • a conversation with my friend J who understands EVERYTHING that I am going through because she has been through it all
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