It all begins tomorrow, I hope

Nervous energy today.  I don’t know why.  I tried my best to shake it, but it was still there.  I could feel my restlessness throughout my body.  I began praying this morning when I opened my eyes and drifting in and out of sleep.  I prayed for calmness, trust, and strength.  However, I could feel my body tensing up and muscles tightening when I worked, typed, ate, or simply sat.  Deep breaths.  Maybe my body was scolding me for not exercising this morning.  Maybe not.  Maybe I was imagining things.  I think my body was tensing up for the anticipation for tomorrow.

AF just arrived.  Tomorrow is CD2, my big baseline ultrasound day.  Last week at our other baseline ultrasound, a nice big corpus luteum cyst was found in my right ovary (where the good tube is).  The good news was, according to the RE, that my ovulation was beautiful because the corpus luteum cyst was round and big.  Uterine lining was great.  My thought quickly shifted to all those stories and women that I read about online who got pregnant right when they intended to start their IVF.  Could we be so fortunate and blessed to get pregnant on our own right when I am about to inject myself with thousands of dollars of medicine and experience emotional roller coaster rides?  RE pointed out that the cyst needed to be gone by CD2 for the cycle to begin.  Otherwise we’d have to sit out this one and wait for another month.  So, no miracle BFP.  I didn’t even test.  I usually don’t anymore.  I have been praying for the cyst to be gone.  But I’ve also been praying for my submission to God’s plan and will for us rather than what I want.  If it’s in God’s plan to wait, then we’ll wait.

If all goes well, I will find out tomorrow at my 10am appointment if we can start our cycle.  Tomorrow night I will mix my first batch of Menopur.  Let’s hope for no spilling!  The syringe was so hard to control when I practiced at the doctor’s office.

Finally, today I’m thankful for:

  • A group of online secret Facebook friends who are there to cheer you on, let you vent, makes you laugh, and care for you in times of needs.
  • AF only showing up one day early
  • Distractions of loud music from the Indian movie that Bob is watching
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2 thoughts on “It all begins tomorrow, I hope

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